Oh how insidious addictive behaviors can be... No sooner did I give up drinking diet coke than my mind/body began searching for a "legal" alternative - something I later learned was a way to feed the "caffeine" habit. It started very slowly, I didn't really noticed it until I began my road trip; however, it dawned on me that I was drinking more coffee than usual - and regular coffee, at that. A long time ago I stopped drinking caffeinated coffee and switched to only decaf and usually only 1 or 2 cups in the am only. Since it was summer I noticed that I was drinking iced coffee (many restaurants/suppliers don't offer decaf iced coffee). Things really started humming after I got a Starbucks card - ostensibly to register it online so I could have free wifi access on my trip. Of course that means you need to load some money on the card and then that means you need to order something. Trying to stay away from the sweet stuff I began ordering grande iced Americano's. Then something really tricky happened - I discovered, with a gift card, you could get refills for free. Did I say F R E E? Of course that one always grabs me, that seductive "free" word - especially at ayce buffets and Americano refills. So now it was up to 2 caffeinated large beverages a day - more than what I was doing with the diet coke - just like the diet - once I "fall off the wagon" I rebound by eating more desserts than ever.
And so that brings me to St. Cecilia's Cathedral in Omaha, NE. My friend Anda and I meditated there for 45 minutes one day during my visit and during that time I asked for some help with my increased consumption of coffee and anything with caffeine it in it, period. Nothing noticeable happened for 3 days - no changes in daily intake, craving, etc. Until Saturday, August 9th. On this day I was staying with Betsy in Chicago; she was out for the morning and I was exhausted from the previous days' sightseeing and evening revelry and clearly decided to stay in her condo for the duration of her plans - into mid afternoon when we had her interview scheduled. I did fine until about noon and then the craving started. Despite my inner guidance, the drizzingly rain, the unfamiliar neighborhood(which was all black residents - as I've mentioned in an earlier blog)I reluctantly but with determination researched the nearest Starbucks and set off for my fix. About 3/4 of the way there I tripped on an uneven cement pavement and without warning fell onto the sidewalk hitting key areas on my left side - most noticeably my left forehead, shoulder, chest, wrist and knee. Stunned I looked down at my hands and realized that I hadn't even braced myself for the fall - it was that sudden. Although a gentleman offered to help me get up I was in too much pain from the fall to get up that quickly. I soon realized; however, that he was probably going to stand there until I did get up so I slowly made my way to a vertical position and began rubbing my head, giving myself some Reiki, I set off undeterred to my destination and beverage of choice. I did smarten up though and called Betsy requesting that she pick me up at the coffee shop on her way back into town rather than risk walking back. Afterwards sittting at her kitchen table with an ice pack I pondered the meaning of the accident (usually there are no accidents... or coincidences). And then it all became clear - yet another message - this one a smack to the head! Luckly I didn't lose consciousness, feel dizzy or nauseaous. I knew enough to check for signs of a concussion and even though Betsy offered to take me to the ER to be checked I really didn't feel I needed to be, at that point.
to be continued....
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