The Four Noble Truths

Well if you read my entry about my opinion of Buddhism you would know that the title does not refer to the tenets of that religion.... I broke my silence yesterday and engaged in conversation with a Unity student who is from Vancouver, B.C. He spoke about his four truths as he has come to know them over the course of his 58 years:
1) "Men and women are different"

Well John Gray really popularized this notion in his well known book, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" and it's always a good reminder especially when as a woman I'm holding out hope that a man (or men) will be able to respond from an emotional point of view rather than a logical-rational one. I have noticed though that gay men generally relate very well from emotional frame of reference - they do make great best friends....

2) People and relationships are the most important thing in life

Well I couldn't agree more - maybe if more people held true to this belief there would be less violence, crime, war and poverty. I'm assuming that he meant all people and all relationships are the most important thing - at least that is how I'm interpreting it! From a quantum physics point of view we are all one anyway - just individual expressions of the divine in different cellular combinations. How we behave towards another affects everyone else - even if only on a subtle level. For example - the 100th monkey theory - the story of how when a critical mass of a species evolves their consciousness it can affect the whole without particular effort.

3) Don't try to outsmart yourself

I wish I had more time to talk with Neil MacLeish about this one as I don't really understand this maxim. He used it as an example of when we try to do something differently, thinking that we are really using a divergent approach, and we end up with the same result. Ie: divorcing and remarrying someone who has virtually the same personality traits. I'm not sure what the antidote to this one is - other than to make decisions based upon your heart rather than your head. I know from past experiences that when I try to "think" my way through decisions that they are often not as satisfying and joy filled as when I follow my heart.

and last but not least:
4) Happy wife, happy home

Neil said that this one is actually a Japanese proverb - sounds like something you'd read in a chinese fortune cookie. He claims that living by this philosophy has been the secret to his successful marriage. Even when he doesn't agree with his wife he has learned to do what makes her happy, if he can. I suppose one could also add, happy husband, happy home. I guess the main thing is that we are striving for another's happiness rather than just our own. He used the example of a recent major purchase - a houseboat in Vancouver's harbor. Although they own a "land" home; his wife really wanted a houseboat - and so he joined her in that effort and as he says she's as happy as a clam - and therefore, so is he....
I doubt this philosophy would work in all circumstances (of course there's always codependency to be aware of, too)and I applaud his efforts in coming up with his "four noble truths". This inspires me to distill my life philosophy into four succint statements - I'll have to work on that one for tomorrow's blog.