Childhood Dreams cont'd

For the last day I've been mulling over what my childhood dreams were.... It's much easier for me to identify dreams I have today than the ones I had long ago. One, I do remember clearly, and that was to be a writer and an English teacher. I devoured literature classes in high school whether the authors were Russian, French, English or American. I got lost in the stories of different cultures, styles and periods. I identified with the heroines whether they were Anna Kareninna, Madame Bovary, Jane Eyre, or Anne of Green Gables. I loved the feeling of being transported to a different reality - a skill that came in handy in a family with 5 brothers and sisters, 3 adults and one station wagon for trips to church and vacations. My mother always used to say that I could get "lost" in a book, often not hearing my name being called or instructions being given. I have always been an avid reader; however, the writing until recently has been confined to private journals and work related projects. So the fact that I am traveling the country to interview people and write a book brings me back to an earlier aspiration.


I've also secretly wanted to be an actress. Meryl Streep is one of my favorite. I did act in community theatre for a year about 15 years ago but this was just a taste and part of me longs to do more. I will have to look into this when I settle down again - and singing, too - I did belong to a women's acappella singing group for 4 years in Concord, NH, "Songweavers" and throroughly enjoyed it.

I also wanted to be a dancer - not sure which kind - but this goal was stifled by my propensity to be overweight most of my life and to be frank, somewhat clumsy. I still long to taller, slimmer and more coordinated - the latter two could still be achieved but the former may have to wait until another lifetime.

I enviously watched several of my brothers who played football in high school - although not shining stars - they were good enough to make varsity. I dutily tried out for a variety of sports - lacrosse, field hockey, cheerleading, swim team and didn't make a one. However over the last few years I have remedied this dream by become a triathlete and participated in over 6 triathlons over the past 2 summers. One disappointment this summer is that I have not taken the time to train - but my bike still awaits (now safely stored at my sister's), and I still have some newly bought triathlete outfits including one that matches my daughter's so that we can participate in one together!

And of course there was the dream to become a nun in sixth grade - however, this one was quickly scratched off the list after I visited the convent of the Holy Family (where I was attending parochial school)and saw how spartan their living conditions were and how dour everyone's expression was. This did not seem fun to me - or at least they did not appear to be having fun with it.... A part of me stills harbors the dream of living a cloistered life, maybe for 6 months or so, the simplicity of meditation and solitude feels refreshing and peaceful. Although you would not catch me wearing a habit or any kind of mandatory dress code - far too independent and rebellious for that...

So actually the more I muse about childhood dreams the more some do come back to memory. I like a quote I read recently about "living life to the fullest - using up all your talents and gifts so there is nothing left at the time of your death" - I am hoping I have a whole lot more of life left - I still have much to do!

One of my current dreams is to travel through every country of the world, meeting inspirational people involved in positive and uplifting projects for the betterment of humankind. I also want to especially spend time in sacred sites of the world, feeling the energy of the earth and integrating the healing for myself as well as to share it with others. Of course I want to be paid very well to do this - and stay in wonderful accomodations to bout. It seems especially important now with the depressing conditions of the economy, the reality of current and impending wars, that positive voices/stories be heard and celebrated.