Girl, Interrupted

Well it has been awhile since I've blogged.... Two weeks ago I developed symptoms of what I thought was the standard stomach flu. It kept on even after five days but I didn't get concerned until I started feeling some intense pain in my abdomen area - which after a day of that and no sleep, prompted a visit to the local ER which resulted in a five day admission to Holy Cross Hospital in Taos with a diagnosis of pancreatitis. No particular medicines were needed other than IV fluids to address dehydration. Apparently I am in the 30% of people for whom there is no known cause for the inflammation - typically it's provoked by alcoholism/drug addiction or gallstones in the bile duct around the pancreas. Neither of these two were true for me; the latter was ruled out by an MRI and CAT scan.... What can I say about my stay in the hospital other than it was way too much daytime TV and bland liquids, although I did develop an affinity for the Knox brand instant chicken broth and will have to make sure I have it on hand in emergencies. The morphine was effective in managing the pain for the first two days and since then I've been pain free. Eating is progressing very slowly - I have lost almost 20#'s - and my appetite is minimal.

Needless to say I've been giving myself lots of Reiki as well as receiving energy from scores of others. Affirmations for restored health and wholeness also have become my mantra as well as an openness to receive any "learnings" from the recent episode....

Christmas was way too quiet, me and my daughter's cat, Gunther, and I AM grateful that I was at least home to enjoy the quiet rather than the sterile setting of the hospital. I was well enough to eat a baked potato for Xmas dinner - one of my favorite treats at any time - must be the Irish in me! Last night I felt well enough to work a shift the gym, Northside, and it was a welcome diversion from my own four walls. Being sick sure makes you appreciate your health; something that I must confess that I usually take for granted as I typically don't get sick very often.

So this is the first writing I've done in a few weeks but writing groups start up again the first week of January so I'll be back to it then....

Let It Snow

The local news station was abuzz last night with predictions of snow for New Mexico, especially the northeastern part and the mountains. I chuckled as I listened to their description of 500 plow trucks, possible school closings and an "inch" of snow in Albuquerque! I woke up this morning expecting to see the results of a snow storm only to find about 2 inches on the ground; someone had told me the previous evening that this might be the case, although, they assured me that the mtns would probably get 6 - 12 inches. OMG - they don't know what winter is! I suppose I should reserve this smug statement until at least the end of March '09 - not having lived thru a Taos winter yet. Reliable sources have informed me that it doesn't snow that much in the valley and that if the sun is shining (which it is 300 days/yr) it melts by early afternoon - making the evening commute safe and dry. I enjoyed the brief feeling of being "snowed in" this morning because my skylights and slanted windows were fully covered by snow until the sun caused it to streak and allow patches of light to shine through. One of the things I like about New England winters is that feeling of be buried (as long as it doesn't last too long, or we go without power for no more than 24 hours) - the stillness of a world dumped with a foot or more of snow - no one moving too fast or venturing too far. A perfect excuse for a day off from normal routines, school, work, obligations with the expectations of a day spent in pajamas or sweat shirts, lounging by the fire/woodstove with a good book, a cup of tea and the only duty being the timing of when to shovel your walk - during the storm or after you've gotten it all? My guess is that the power doesn't often shut down here - it hasn't yet in 4 months but it's early yet. Even though I live in the high elevations (5000 feet above sea level)there isn't much wind here, lightening or other forms of weather disturbances.
So no need to listen to the radio/TV for closings/cancellations and although car thermometer says it's 23 degrees out it feels like the low 40's.
I guess it's off to work I go then. Which in my case, since this is a Tuesday, is to the "Wired" Cafe on Felicidad St. behind Albertson's for a cafe au lait and a day of writing.

Holidaze

It's taken me over a week to recover from Thanksgiving. My two daughters, Erin and Jenn came to visit; one for a week and the other for three days. During that time my place was taken over including the computer, TV, kitchen area, bathroom and living space. I even shared my bed with Erin as there is only a pull out futon in the living area. I used to live in a much larger 3 bedroom house with two full bathrooms when they were growing up. Thank God for that. I didn't think I was so territorial until the square footage shrunk and we were all trying to fit into a small one bedroom house. I silently cringed each time I noticed debris piling up on the floor, liquids spilling over on the stove and dishes stacking up uncleaned in the sink. I guess I am a creature of habit, after all, and guess I get more so as time goes on; especially since I have been living solo for the past three years. Don't get me wrong; I was thrilled to see them, our feast except for the overdone roast chicken was delicious and the highlight of our visit was the stop at Ojo Caliente for an afternoon of soaking in awesome outdoor mineral pools followed by dinner in the Artesian Restaurant. And I was secretly not unhappy to see them go - hence my recovery this week of doing laundry, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom and rewashing certain pots and pans. And of course now that's it's been a week I miss them again. I also overindulgenced, a fine American tradition, and avoided the face off at the gym and the scale. So I have allowed myself a week of being out of sorts, sitting with an ambivalence about sharing my space and staying out of routines that I find nurturing and comforting.
I find it difficult to maintain my patterns: ie: meditation, working out at the gym, writing time, bedtime, etc. when I'm in relationship with others. I too often bend my routine to their preferences - only to discover that unsuspecting resentment creeps in after a time - even though they didn't ask me to change for them.... I know this is my issue and one that I notice when I am in the same living space with others.
Christmas will be easier; I'm visiting Jenn in Durango, CO; she will be working during the day, teaching skiing to those on vacation and we'll spend a few evenings together. I'm hoping that she can manuever us a discounted room at the ski resort where she works so that I can happily pass my time in the indoor pool and hot tub balanced with hot drinks sitting by the fireplace reading or knitting. My goal is to balance our selections of evening activities - allowing her a choice for one night and me the other. I'll let you know how it works out....

Color Me Orange

I'm one of those incredibly annoying people that never like to sit in the same seat in a lecture hall, church pew or conference room table. Just when the person at the head of the room has figured out who is who I screw it up by changing my seat. Blame it on the fact that I'm a Gemini and can/in fact chooses to see things from different points of view and that I'm addicted to change, stimulation and playing devil's advocate. Perhaps that's why I love traveling so much. And debating and analyzing..... At any rate I bring it up because I have since settling in Taos been wearing, decorating and resonanting with different colors than I ever have before. Now I've always done my kitchen in blue tones but now it's sprayed with of all things oranges and reds. I know, I know, anyone who knows me will have a hard time imagining this BUT here's the thing about the Southwest - the landscape is donned with a rainbow of browns and beiges except the flowers and trees. So my theory is that people crave color here - that's why Taos is famous for its cerulean turqoise trim on its adobe buildings, why people dress in vivid colors (often they don't match - but what's that got to do with it?), and decorate in the primary colors.

So my tablecloth is striped reds and oranges, the cloth napkins are yellow and red, the Taos Inn poster in the dining area is full of van Gogh blues/greens/reds and yesterday I just had to buy some new potholders in striped, you guessed it, oranges, yellows and red. (The name of the kitchen store in town by the way is Monet's Kitchen, I kid you not). My washclothes do not match, one in sage, one in organge and one turquoise. And of course I have different color candles throughout the earthship.
The landscape here is much starker than the Northeast; even the mountains stand out more singularly because they are often seen from a panorama of miles beforehand. My house is on the mesa "me·sa (ms)n. A broad, flat-topped elevation with one or more clifflike sides, common in the southwest United States." Spanish for table. It affords an an expansive, uncluttered view of the Sangre de Christos Mtns. to the east - I once wondered why the house was built facing away from the mtns which means you have to go outside to get a view of them. Naively I didn't realize that they build the adobes facing south to take advantage of the huge power of the sun for solar heating.
And I think all these colors are messing with my brain. In a good way. I felt drawn here to write and create. Creativity demands the ability to see things differently, put them in nonordinary combinations to create something new. And I feel that by adopting the color schemes so prevalent here, as well as the frankly quirky nature of the anglo population in Taos - lots of tattoos, I wonder if anyone has ever done a study on the highest number of tatoos per capita?, dreadlocks, odd looking hats (maybe to cover the dreads?)I am by osmosis becoming more creative. At least that's why I like to tell mmyself - so don't spoil the illusion.

Learned Optimism

Yesterday at Unity Service Barbara Jones who has a Ph.D. in Transpersonal Psychology spoke on Martin Seligman's seminal work, "Learned Optimisim". He is the founder of Positive Psychology and has written several additional books, "Character Strengths and Virtues", and "Authentic Happiness". His central theory is that we can learn to be happier even if we have been pessismistic all our lives. He postulates that people who have had trauma in their childhoods are more likely to be pessismistic as they become adults. However, by cultivating certain character strengths and virtues we can retrain ourselves to be optimistic and happier. His research demonstrates that people who score higher on his character strength questionnaire are by far happier than people who don't. Let me see if I can remember the major strengths:
Creativity, Bravery, Temperance, Fairness, Kindness, and Open mindedness, Humor, Curiosity and Persistence. His website: www.authentichappiness.com provides free questionnaires that you can take if you want to find out how you score on happiness and individual character strengths and virtues.

Barbara gave us a homework assignment for the following week - she suggested that we choose one character strength that we score at a lower level than we would like and then think of one thing we could do to improve that score. I partnered with someone who said that forgiveness of herself and others was really difficult for her. She committed to communicating with someone that she has had been holding a resentment against and forgive them. I mentioned that temperance (self control and regulation of appetites/desires) was a biggie for me - especially in the area of consuming sweets (and well, coffee, too, truth be told). So I committed to not eating any sweets for a week. We had a followup chat about a time in her life when she felt she was addicted to sugar and how this caused her to develop severe candida and become quite ill. She posed this question to herself: What sweet things/activities(not food/beverages)have I not been allowing myself to have - ie: then consuming sugary foods as a substitute for that sweetness she was really craving... For her it was time alone, and giving herself the luxury of a walk, hot bath, reading, etc. rather than always caring for others... Get's me to pondering. Not that this a new or necessarily revoluntionary concept. I remember back to reading Susie Orbach's, "Fat is a Feminist Issue" or Denise Lamotte's, "Taming of the Chew". I could write a book on the subject myself. But that will have to wait until the book I'm working on is finished...

Beginner's Mind

There is a Zen saying about the secret to success in any new endeavor is to have a "beginner's mind". To approach new tasks completely open to new information and without preconceived notions based upon past experience. Even though I have been knitting off and on since childhood I frequently find that having a "beginner's mind" when approaching a pattern (either new or one that I have made before)pays off in less unraveling and mistakes. It is a humbling process and yet freeing at the same time.

I am attempting to use this process as I dive into learning how to write. Last night I attended the first in a series of five classes given by a local author on developing character and narrative. There are 10 people in the class, many of them accomplished and published writers.... I was delighted to discover that I didn't feel intimidated by their collective proficiencies. When the time came for us to read what we had written in class I felt eager and exhilarated. And the result was exciting. The teacher, Veronica, had read a poem and a paragraph as a prompt. The theme of the chosen pieces was "what can not be spoken". We were given 10 minutes to write. I wrote about an interaction between spouses demonstrating underlying conflict and tension while they are sitting watching TV. My brief piece was met with enthusiasm and accolades. Initially I just thought that they were being "nice" until I observed that their reaction was not universal to all the other readings.

So this leads me to wonder what would it be like to live your life with "beginner's mind"; to approach each day as completely new - devoid of judgments, beliefs or generalizations from previous days' experiences. I still want to remember all that I have learned (it would be exhausting to have to relearn everything and demoralizing - like recovering from a severe stroke) but free from the sometimes paralyzing effect of preconceived expectations. So instead of assuming that there'll be alot of traffic on the way to work, that my boss will treat me as she/he always has, that my kids won't complete their chores and that there will be alot of bills in the mail I would have the freedom to choose differently. Beliefs are not right or wrong; they are simply attitudes, opinions, and experiences that we hold to be true for ourselves. I could choose to believe that I'll never have enough money to pay my bills, never lose that 50#'s, get a job that I like, create a loving romantic relationship, and so on. Or I could choose to believe that I have more than enough money to pay my bills, I will release the excess weight and keep it off, and that my ideal romantic partner is just around the corner.

A friend of mine once said "what's the difference between denial and an affirmation?"
Good question.... I choose to believe that what we focus on increases - whether positive or negative. If I focus on poor health, bills, relationship disappointments than I am sure to attract more of the same. If I instead focus on what I would like to have more of in my life the universe conspires to produce that
as well.

A Few Words about Writing

I never realized how much work writing is.... It has recently been brought to my attention that my grammar, punctuation, verb usage, composition and style needs some serious overhauling to be accepted by a publisher. My writing teacher, Phaedra Greenwood (author, "Beside the Rio Hondo"), has been editing some of my writing and has recently suggested that I get a copy of the high school familiar classic, "Elements of Style" by Strunk and White. Little did I know that I would be traveling that road again. I have been reviewing the book and becoming educated about passive vs active verbs, avoiding the use of words that end in "ing", when to use apostrophes and the universal sage advice to writers, "show don't tell".

I'm also learning about "fictional techniques", when and how to use dialogue, description and how to avoid the dreaded "purple prose". My usual sequence is to transcribe an interview, type up the notes in outline form, and then transform it into prose. Then rewrite the first draft after letting it sit for awhile. Then I bring it to class and read it outloud to the group while providing a copy to Phaedra. The group gives me constructive feedback about what they like and what needs improvement. Phaedra uses her red pen to correct phrases, highlight areas needing rewriting and recommnend style changes, including punctuation and formatting.
Then it's back to the cafe for more rewriting and the loop begins again.

I've decided to view this a job and keep regular writing hours. I hear that's how writers practice and get better. My general format is to write all day Mon, Tues, & Weds; writer's group is on thursday and then that leaves time of the weekend to do some rewriting. I'm also on the lookout for other classes and recently found out about the winter writing series at S.O.M.O.S.(Society of the Muse of the Southwest) which hosts readings by well know authors, poets, screenwriters, etc. in the region -
Natalie Goldberg of "Writing Down the Bones" fame has been a previous presenter - as well as James Nave, of the Writing Salon, friend and cowriter with Julia Cameron(The Artist Way).

But now I'm off a massage - my first in New Mexico - a benefit of volunteering at the Wellness Clinic by a therapist that lives in Valdez, the valley to the north of Taos and same area that Julia Roberts has a home.

A New President!

Last night with fellow Taosenos and democrats I sat around a big screen TV in the home of Dinah and Seymour(friends of my landlady's, Cindy)and watched Pennsylvania, and then Ohio be announced as projected winners for Barack Obama, the new President elect for the United States. Earlier in the week I had received phone calls from my daughters, 25 and 26, that they had voted (democrat, of course); my younger, daughter, Jenn, admitted that she didn't vote in the last election but was really motivated to do so in this one. I have to say that I was pleased - feeling that I had raised them right - of course, there would have been no less love if they voted for McCain - maybe just a little doubt about their judgment and wisdom. Actually I had been a fan of Hillary in the primaries; she was the one that I really wanted to see elected initially; however, I do now believe that Obama is the right choice at this time both for the nation as well as internationally. Maybe we have a chance of repairing our reputation overseas and propelling the world toward a more peaceful one... It was really inspirational to hear how other countries see us and are inspired by our democracy - especially in those areas where people are imprisoned, kidnapped and often murdered for their opinion.

And it does go without saying that to have the first black president elected in my lifetime is really a thrill; next time maybe it will be a woman. I am old enough to remember the Civil Rights movement, the riots and racial discrimination (still present but progressively weakening). I am also heartened to listen to the post election analysis say that race played a very small factor in the election and that Obama's support was nation wide. I can't say that I would want to be him in the coming months and years - he has inherited an overflowing plateful of issues, crises and challenges.

It is a delight to live in a town that is so heavily democratic and like-minded; not that differences aren't stimulating and necessary but I must say I felt more than a little pride when I learned that both NH and NM had favored Obama in the election. Colorado, too, where Jenn lives - but alas no hope for Wyoming where Erin is (although hopefully at least Jackson Hole voted in favor of Obama)....

Today's another writing day and it's cloudy, yesterday it even rained for about 15 minutes and there is actually a winter storm advisory for the area today. I woke up to 37 degrees but of course it feels more like 50 - 55 for me. There is snow in the mtns surrounding the town but I haven't seen any on the ground yet....

Another sunny day....

Another sunny day in Taos, even though it's November 2nd, it's warm, almost 70 degrees. The weather report calls for somewhat cooler temps this week - OMG it's going to be in the 60's! I've discovered that the temp ranges here are deceiving - coming fromt the East Coast where it is much more humid, less sunny and lower elevation. When the temp says it's 40 here it feels about 60 degree, ala New England weather. That's because the air is so dry, the sun is so intense and the elevation is 7000 feet above sea level. I am enjoying a very balmy Fall and I'm sure I'll be very grateful for the sun when it's January; locals say that the whole month last year was below 0 degress - meaning about 20 degrees....

I've just started a new online course, "Reality map expander" by Centerpointe Institute by Bill Harris. It's all about how you create your reality (at least most of it - except those random events and ones predicated by your DNA) through your beliefs. They always say that perception is reality.... The course is 12 lessons, delivered online every two weeks, with homework, even.... Major part of the first lesson is becoming aware of what we believe in different areas, e.g. money, relationships, health, career - so that we can then change our belief about it which then will create a new reality. Another version of how "thoughts become things". I've invited a friend who is also taking the class to be my study buddy so we can process the info together and both make great strides forward.

Yesterday I went to a used book sale at SOMOS (society of the muse of the southwest - a writer's organization); one of the paperbacks I purchased is "Mutant Message Downunder" - a classic new age nonfiction (1995)about the writer's "kidnap" by a tribe of Australian aboriginals to do a three month "walkabout" in the Australian desert. Author, Marlo Morgan, had been doing some volunteer work with half caste aboriginals on a service project when she was "invited" to attend a meeting with a tribe from the other part of the country. Upon arrival she was taken for an intensive journey into their culture, lifestyle and spirituals beliefs, changing her life forever. Coincidentally last evening I went to the Taos Film Society's viewing of "Whale Dreamers", a documentary about the Murni tribe in Australia who call the whales to their sacred mountain overlooking the ocean and believe that humans have a special, deeply spiritual bond with these sea mammals. A few years back a group of 85 indigeouns healers from all over the world gatherered to celebrate/share their healing modalities and help the Murni tribe from becoming extinct by reconnecting them to their ancient rites and ceremonies. A powerful and sad film about how the government has stolen the land from native tribes and in the process catapulted the dissolution of their culture and traditions. Does this sound familiar with many native cultures in America?

Tomorrow is Election Day and yesterday at Unity service someone brought an affirmation about the transition to a new president for the country, written by Patricia Cota-Robles, that was non-partisan, beautiful and deeply moving. I forgot to keep my copy or I would have pasted it on my website - however you can probably google her name and find it. At any rate here's hoping for a huge voter turnout and a strengthening of the democratic system in our country - may the candidate who is for the highest good of the country become our next president!

The Unique, the Odd and the Noteworthy

Taos is a multilayered town - artists, musicians, ex and current hippies, tree huggers, political activists, hispanics, native americans, caucasions(or anglos as they refer to us here). My instinct to relocate to Taos to write has proved to be fruitfull. I'm in a writer's group and I've discovered several more as well as SOMOS(Society of the Muse of the Southwest - an organization totally devoted to writers from all different genres), James Nave's writing salons, Julia Cameron once lived here (and I think still visits - she and James were business partners - or maybe still are?)Natalie Goldberg (of "Writing Down the Bones" fame)lived in Taos for a long time and now lives in Santa Fe. And I'm sure many more that I haven't discovered yet. I just found out yesterday that the writing group instructor has a published book, "Beside the Rio Hondo" (maybe more, too, I don't know...)(Her name is Phaedra Greenwood).

I've already mentioned the plethora of coffee shops (I've found another - Cafe Noula next to the Don Fernando Hotel on the Plaza). On my recent trips to Santa Fe I've discovered that there are six casinos and four wineries on the way - I'm not going to read too much into that ratio. The ride takes an hour and a half so that's about one for every 10 mins. Someday I'll plan on going on a vineyard tour - not as grand as the wine country in California, I'm sure, but the closest I've come so far to wine tasting country.

Here's one of the odd (and frankly disconcerting!)things I've discovered about this area of Northern New Mexico: for all their progressive politics, green friendly construction and percentage of dwellings totally built entirely from recycled materials (earthships)their recycling center is definitely below par. Being an avid recycling enthusiast(I do get a distinct pleasure from my trips to the dump)I loaded up my car on my first visit to Bertha Rd and had seperated all in seperate milk crates (left over from their use of traveling clothes drawers). Although they did have bins for glass(they put all colors in the same one!), cans, and corrugated cardboard - they had none for plastics of any kind or for paper - unless it's white? No area for plastic bags, paper bags, styrofoam, etc. I had to go back home with 3/4 of the now refuse materials in my car - because here's another thing - the location for bagged waste materials is in a totally different location - about 10 miles out of town... Luckily my landlady co-owns a storage facility close by and she has kindly been taking my accumulated bags to her dumpster. Go figure? Upon inquiry I've been told that the nearest place to recycle plastics is in Esplaniola - 45 mins away.... I'm not that dedicated. Although maybe I could plan it on one of my trips to Santa Fe.

A noteworthy observation about the town is the diversity of fences and walls that divide structures. Of course there's some ordinary wrought iron work fences, and I've seen a few stockade type however here's a description of directions somewhere that I recently read: "first you come to an adobe wall fence, then a lattila (thin tree branches(aspen?)wired together fence, then an iron fence with holes at the top - after this take your next right". Several of the museums in town (6 of them) have walled areas surrounding them - historically these were done for protection from either the Natives, Hispanic or Anglos - depending upon who was fighting whom. A guess fences do make good neighbors....

Of course one of the other truely unique aspects of Taos is the fact that all commercial buildings have to be built in adobe style (even Micky D's, Walmart and Wendy's) - many with the ubiquitous turquoise trim seen in many tourist books about Taos. I've noticed that some of the seemingly poorer inhabitants of the town live in more traditional stick built ranches and of course the ever popular mobile home - so I guess it's definitely a sign of class and prosperity to live adobe style. Speaking of which I have yet to visit Taos Pueblo - one of the most famous in New Mexico. I hear there is a spectacular Christmas Eve Lighting service that I'll have to check out.

Lake Tahoe, Phoenix and Sedona

I've just returned from a whirlwind tour of Lake Tahoe, Phoenix and Sedona, AZ. I went to a women's spiritual retreat with singer/songwriter, Karen Drucker at Zephyr Point Cfc Center in Lake Tahoe, right on the lake. It's the first lake I've seen since I've been gone from NE that reminds me of Lake Winnipesauki - clean, clear, mountain fed, deep and expansive. It took 2 1/2 hrs to drive around its perimeter thru the mountains - some of those passes are scary and give a new meaning to switchbacks. There was one on the Northwest side which was particularly challenging - for a stretch of about 2 miles there were cliffs on either side of me and I'm sure the view would have been fantastic if I had had the nerve to take my eyes off the road.... My heart was racing, my hands gripped the steering wheel and I can only imagine trying to drive it if it was winter driving conditions!

The workshop was lovely, restful and inspiring. Karen has a beautiful voice and the group of us(30 or so)did alot of singing, chanting, drumming and sharing. Maggie Cole, her cofacilitator, is a religious science practitioner from Santa Rosa, CA and added her insight and inspiration to the weekend. Many of the women were from the West Coast - CA, NV, OR, CO, and one from Canada and several from Chicago area. Not a one from the Northeast or South - very strange - usually I'm in meetings where the demographics are the reverse. Needless to say Reno and area is full of casinos - in fact this tends to be true of many of the areas I've visited in the West - how can so many casinos be supported by gamblers - there must be alot of them....

The best part of the weekend was that I was inspired to write the prologue to my book while sitting on the shores of Lake Tahoe and read it to the group at the Saturday night talent show. I was really pleased to have gotten it done - at least in first draft and will work on editing it for sharing with my writer's group this coming Monday.

I flew to and from Phoenix, AZ, so that I could visit with two dear friends that I haven't seen for almost 10 years. Both were trained by the same Reiki Master as I was and so we have a deep bond and shared history. I stayed at Rina's house in Sun Lakes after the workshop and had a chance to see some of the sights in Phoenix and "enjoy" the 90 degree weather. It is so dry there that only cactus and certain hardy bush/trees thrive - almost no greenery - or at least not the kind that I am used to. However, I must admit the suaro (large, tall, single stem cactus)are grand and prolific. I had my inaugural trip to IKEA, including a full Swedish breakfast for 1.99, and spent several hours gazing at the swedish inspired furniture and household goods - at very reasonable prices. I also learned that Phoenix is the 5th largest city in the US; the ones that top it in population include NY, Chicago, LA, and Philly.

On my way back to NM I stopped in Sedona and was awestruck by the Red Rock formations and the energy. I had planned to spend the afternoon but didn't want to skim the surface of this interesting area so I'm sure I will be back someday for a much longer visit. They even have a metaphysical subcommittee of the Chamber of Commerce! I've never been in a town which markets alternative health and spirituality as the norm - it was refreshing... I drove thru the mountains near Flagstaff and welcomed the much cooler air as the altitude increased.

As I wound my way back to Taos I noticed that although still desert-like NM is actually much greener than AZ - green sage brush abounds along with aspen trees. The landscape is much more dramatic as well with undulating hills and the Sangre de Christos Mtns (as well as the Sandistas and other mountains I don't know the name of). I noticed that I felt happy to be returning to my earthship in Taos, my view of the mountains from my yard and the small town feel of the area and its inhabitants.

A Town for coffee junkies

Taos is THE town to be in if you're addicted to caffeine - especially the espresso kind... Although it boasts an absence of a Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts it does have (at my lastest count)13 privately owned espresso cafes - not even counting the ones in the outlying districts of Questa, Arroyo Seco, Red River, Angel Fire and beyond- or the multitude of restaurants some of which I'm sure serve espresso as well as run of the mill drip coffee. How a town of a little more than 5,000 people (15,000 in the wider county area)can support that many cafes is astounding.... Several have 2 locations: one on Paseo del Pueblo Norte and one on Paseo del Pueblo Sur (how's my Spanish?) - these are: The Bean and Mondo Kultur. Most offer free wifi services as well as well as varying degree of ambiance, culture and comfortable seating. I have frequented 8 of them so far (for research purposes of course) and sampled their Americano's. In order of coffee strength (or the length of a caffeine fix)here are the results: #1: Has to be World Cup on the corner of the Plaza - a tiny and busy place that has limited counter seating and a few outdoor benches where I'm told certain "types" (I haven't figured out what types yet) congregate on a routine basis.
# 2 & 3: Mondo Kultur (both of them) - they have much larger spaces, DVD's for rent and and much larger menu - also the one on the northside (closest to my earthship)shows independent/private/foreign films each week - with freshly made popcorn to boot;
#4: Michelles Livingroom - it is actually set up as a living room with couches, TV, good lighting and side tables for internet users - this made it to the top part of the list based partly on the fact that it was the first place that I frequented in Taos while staying in a motel; #5 Cafe Loka: it's claim to uniqueness is the art gallery that is housed within its square footage and the fact that it uses freshly ground wheat from local farmers for its bakery products; #6 Wired Cyber Cafe: Its unpretentious exterior hides indoor/outdoor patios, a waterfountain and pool, funky gift shop area and a staircase to a loft quiet area for computer users. Plants for sale from its affliate, Blossoms, adds to ambiance and the rarified air; #7 & 8 The Bean: the most traditional coffee shop of the bunch opens for early birds at 6 am - although it's espresso is the most tame so far. Yet to be sampled are Sustaining Cultures, Cafe Tazza and Taos Java.

These will have to wait however until my return from Arizona and Nevada in ten days. I'm leaving on another road trip on Wednesday morning to Phoenix, Arizona, laying over at a friend's overnight and then to the airport for a flight to Reno, Nevada on Thursday for a four day women's empowerment retreat in Lake Tahoe. On my way back I intend to visit in Sedona for a day or two before returning to the "land of enchantment". I wonder what type of espresso cafes they have in Phoenix?

The Biology of Belief

The Taos chapter of IONS(Institute of Noetic Sciences)showed a video by Bruce Lipton, "The Biology of Belief" this past week at the Taos public library. IONS is devoted to the exploration of the intersection between spirituality and science; often revealing the academic explanation for metaphysical phenomena. Bruce Lipton is a renown biologist and demonstrated in this 2 hour video how cellular biology supports what many in the "new age" postulate: that our lives are created by and through our beliefs rather predetermined by our DNA. I can't do justice to his lecture on how cells respond to energy in the environment; however suffice it to say that the all cellular activity is mediated thru the brain. It is our frontal lobe, corpus callosum, that makes judgments, discernments, and perceptions of our environment and this in large measure - except for the color of our eyes, hair, skin color - creates our health, attitude and longevity. As an example he flashed a slide of a half dozen women in the 60's and 70's dancing in a "broadway" style revue - all of whom looked at least 20 years younger than their chronological age. He argued that their vitality and health wss ensured due to their passion for dancing and their belief in their ability to continue to make the same moves they had in their younger years. The old adage, "use it or lose it" is a truism that most people accept. Anyone who has ever suffered from a broken bone or sprain can attest to the muscular atrophy that universally occurs due to lack of use. However, it may be a bigger leap to endorse the notion that we create our health and/or change the course of disease thur our beliefs and attitudes. He didn't of course say that we are guilty of our own cancers, accidents or injuries; however, he did say that we can play a "huge" role in our recovery and dismissed the concept of fate/a doctor's prognosis in determining our lives.

As I mentioned in earlier posts I recently cut my left hand and had subsequent surgery to ostensibly repair the nerve. As it turns out the nerve was fine and the surgery was probably unnecessary. The doctor in the ER impressed upon me the seriousness of the injury and the urgent need to schedule an appt with a hand surgeon - as soon as the surgeon saw me - he recommended surgery with the caveat being that if I didn't have surgery I might never regain full use of my hand. I got caught up in their urgency, fear(of malpractice most likely)and imbued authority and against my inner belief (my intuition told me I would be fine and that it would simply take awhile to have full feeling back in my fingers)and followed their recommendations.... Now I have a much bigger scar on my hand and it is much stiffer and sore than it was previously. I don't blame the doctors; I consciously decided to adopt their beliefs at the time - in contradiction to what my inner self knew.
This lesson seems to keep coming up for me - in costly (both financially and emotionally)ways - the latest one has cost fulfilling the @2000 deductible for my insurance as well as dealing with more impairment than I had originally. Discerning the difference between internal and external beliefs/judgments/opinions will be the subject of another blog.....

How Sweet the Sound

"Amazing Grace, How Sweet the Sound", is exactly how I felt when I heard the beginning drops of rain last Saturday night - rain that mercifully and graciously lasted thru the night. I went to sleep that night accompanied by the staccato notes of rain falling on my skylights and snuggled into my quilt with a sign of deep contentment. It hasn't rained in Taos (except for brief 30 mins or less of light spit)since I moved here in the beginning of September. The dryness, lack of humidity, dusty roads and endless sun has made me newly appreciate the lush greeness of New England (and England for that matter)and the water which falls from the sky keeping leaves/grasses green, rivers/brooks full and flowing - and not the least - keeps skin from cracking rawness. Surprised by the contrast, longing for rain I was outnumbered by Taosenos who muttered dire predictions of "bad" weather for last weekend. I also recall the scores of comments made by Easterners about how wet a summer they had, flooding on Cape Cod, and laundry remaining damp - headed for the dryer.... It's an issue of balance, I guess, that keeps a line between deprivation and onslaught - however, nature doesn't tend to deliver according to this dictum.

And so you give up one thing in order to get another - more sun here but less rain - this is one of the major reasons I've heard so far for why people flock to Taos - the others being the skiing in the mountains, the abundance of art, artists and their galleries and, of course, the etheral and enchanting quality of light created by the altitude and location. Photographers love it here - I've met several with their cameras in the late afternoon (4 - 6pm) scurrying to set up their tripods to capture the lumious quality of the gloaming.

The 25th annual Wool Festival was held over the weekend at Kit Carson Park; a city of tents housing natural fibers, accessories, leather goods and one or two encampments of sheep, lamas and alpacas. One (actually the only) vendor sold kibbee (aka gyros)sandwiches for lunch; I had one before I went to visit the sheep who were next up for a shearing demonstration. I limited myself to sale items and managed to escape for under $50 - the yarn being used to prduce sweaters for sale at a local craft shop in Bethlehem, NH. Ignoring how little it yields in hourly pay I justify the small retail business by how much it supports my habit in trying out new patterns and the gratfication in seeing a project completed and utilitzed. I did make one splurge from my usual purchase of off white wool for fisherman knit sweaters by buying a teal green dk weight yarn for a scarf or socks - who knows maybe a Xmas present for me or someone else....

Suffering from a bad attitude

For those of you that have been reading between the lines you may have noticed that I have not been feeling my most upbeat and positive lately. Knowing how the "law of attraction" works I'm not surprised that I have been attracting more of the same - much to my dismay and disappointment. I noticed that I was focusing on what I don't like about Taos and what I miss about New England rather than appreciating what I do like about living in this area. Fears have dramatically come to the surface recently as far as my financial stability goes - given the current state of the stock market - and to top it over I've had a few physical challenges as well. After having a brief pity party I have decided to change tack - as always if you don't like where you're going you need to change direction. And according to Abraham-Hicks the results you're experiencing in your life are directly related to the thoughts/feelings you've been having....

So, I've started a "treasure hunt" perspective to living in Taos and vow to discover and appreciate at least one thing(preferably new but repeats will do, if needed)every day. Yesterday I was invited to visit the local ashram in Taos (it's hidden right in the middle of town much like "where's waldo" - you'd never know it was there if someone didn'take you there); the devotees of the ashram pray to the same guru as Ram Dass (Richard Alpert). I also found out that there is a Ram Dass retreat ctr in Lama, NM, about 1 hour north. That will have to be a treasure hunt for another day as yesterday I worked in the afternoon/evening at the gym. I walked around the lovely grounds and overheard a room full of people participating in kirtan (chanting). Today my treasure was tasting the delicious burgers(I selected the original 5 star burger which was with gorgonzola cheese, bacon and green chile mayo) at 5 Star Burger for lunch with my landlady, Cindy after we had carpooled each other to a local mechanic to get our car brakes checked out. (good news - I have at least another

Tomorrow I am going to the San Geronimo Feast Day at the famous Taos Pueblo - it promises to be full of native arts/crafts, food, seeing natives in traditional costumes as well as the sacred clowns of the tribe - who it is rumored (or real) throw unruly/rude children into the nearby river. Just writing about this I feel better, lighter and more optimistic. It must be working! And I am typing again - albeit slowly and clumsily....

The First Cut is the deepest

Well I won't be writing in the blog for a bit as today I found out that I will need hand surgery (tomorrow) to repair a sensory nerve in my left hand. That apparently minor cut by a knife 11 days ago is the culprit and the hand specialist assured me that without the surgery my hand will never be the same and I could very well have permanent nerve damage - that will never do! So he had an opening in day surgery tomorrow afternoon and got me scheduled immediately saying that the sooner it's repaired the better the result will be. Luckily I have had my share of surgeries so I'm not too nervous about the general anesthesia or going under the knife (already did that....) The stitches will be in for about 10 days and I should get full sensation back within 6 weeks. I guess I'll be doing the "hunt and peck method" for writing and typing and get to watch alot of daytime TV - hope they are some good cheesy movies on the tube because I won't be able to knit!

I have to admit that my very first thought was "I want to get on a plane and come home" to doctors and a hospital that I know and trust, where I have close long time friends to take care of me. I was greatly reassured when I found out that the surgeon, Dr. Chun, was trainned at the Mayo Clinic - name dropping does count - especially when it's about surgery..... Luckily I do already have two friends in Santa Fe and I was able to get ahold of them tonite and they will pick me up tomorrow after surgery and I will stay overnight at their house. I hope it's some really good pain medication - like percocet! Yahoo!

To be or not to be

That is the question... Knowing that I will most likely only be in Taos for 6months (maybe at most 9 months) do I focus some energy on establishing connections with others or stay anonymous? The ambivalence has been floating in the air since I arrived - partly because it takes energy to establish new relationships - not only with people but also with banks, post offices, the library, retail stores, navigating streets, short cuts and the list could go on and on. It has taken alot longer and alot more resources to settle in than I anticipated.... I've learned that I have to have a kitchen that has at least a modicum of equipment - I don't think I can last for 6 months without at least one cookie sheet, a pie pan, rolling pin (even the cheap walmart kind)or pastry blender. I know, I know that seems excessive except my inner self told me that that's what she needs to feel at home in the kitchen. Cooking/baking is therapeutic for me and without decent equipment it only leads to continual frustration. So despite the expense I have succumbed to financing one of the ultimate big box stores, Walmart, (of course it is the only big box store in Taos)and can't count the number of trips I've made there since my arrival 3 weeks ago.

Today I attended a Unity church service - it was located in the large reading room of the Chamisa High School (a private charter school). There were about 25 people in attendance and I found it welcoming and warm. Interestingly most of the folks (actually everyone except one) was in the age range of 50 - 75; I don't know what that means - do they go to the UU church in Ranchos de Taos or one of the many Buddhist meditation groups? The service was much less Christcentric than what I had experienced at Unity Village; in fact one of things that attracted me was the fact that the central table (aka altar) had a picture of different avatars on it - Christ, Buddha, Krishna and Quan Yin and above the table there were prayer flags hanging from the ceiling that had the symbolism of 8 of the major religions. Additionally several of the songs sung were from Karen Drucker and Shaina Noll - 2 songwriters that I admire.

I'm working on attracting the perfect writing support group while I'm here and I saw a notice in the weekly newspaper that a nearby town (Questa) offers a free (or sliding scale/donation - whatever folks can afford)natural healthcare clinic (acupuncture, massage, nutritional consultation, etc)once a month and are open to volunteer practitioners - my intention is to call and offer Reiki treatments on a complimentary basis.

I guess it's not in my nature to be a hermit - even though I enjoy and need solitude/quiet on a regular basis. So it seems I will become connected in Taos despite my temporary residence - it will require effort - given my introverted nature but hopefully it will pay off in the long run - as independent as I am I do enjoy the stimulation of conversation with others, the opportunity for idea exchange and the warmth of human contact.

Listen, Write, Type

This is my new mantra as I began transcriping the interviews for my book on Thursday. First I relisten to the interviews with headsets on while taking detailed notes of the content and type up the notes onto a Word document to later be developed into a chapter. I started at the beginning with my very first interview in Lancaster, Ontario at the home of Jim and Betty Healey. Listening to the tapes brings me back to the feeling of my visit with them on the weekend of May 9th - llth, their sumptuous gardens, the inspired labyrinth walk day on Saturday that over 50+ people attended and the delightful time I had getting to know each of them better. They have a retreat center at their home, entitled, "Tigh Shee" - which is gaelic for "House of Peace" - a name they borrowed on one of their trips to Scotland on the isle of Ionia. Creating peaceful, safe and beautiful natural environments - both physically (in their magical gardens)and emotionally/spiritually is their joint mission and life's purpose. I am grateful that I had the privilege to experience it first hand and hear the stories of how they manifested its creation. I have now finished transcriping both of their interviews and the next step is to write a rough draft of a chapter to be followed by a follow-up interview with them to check on the status of their projects.

It feels good to have begun the writing processing - after all that is why I am in Taos. I have begun training at the new Health club and will start working regular shifts next week. One of the members told me about a weekly knitting group in town that meets every Weds pm at 6 - I am looking forward to dropping in and having company while I knit.... This will be a bit of a challenge for awhile, however.

Last week while I was slicing an avocado for dinner the knife slipped and cut my palm. Not badly enough that it needed stitches (according to my lay diagnosis)but obviously deep enough that it apparently has done nerve damage - the section of my palm cut (on my left hand), my index and middle fingers are numb and continue to be. Each day there is a subtle improvement (hopefully I am not deluding myself with wishful thinking)and decrease in the numbness but it's still present and affecting digital manipulation - especially anything that involves fine motor control in my left hand - ie: washing dishes, shampooing my hair, typing, etc. A few years back I had accidentally cut a sliver off the side of my thumb and I remember how long it took for the numbness to wear off.... I have tried to make a Dr.'s appt; however, I have been informed by several Dr.'s offices that they don't take out of state insurance and that I would have to pay them first and then be reimbursed by my insurance company later - which I interpret as not being reimbursed - realistically. I don't relish the idea of been seen at the emergency room and paying the hefty co-pay especially when I already have an appt at the Family Practice Assocs. on October 1st for a repeat CT scan. Navigating the health care system has become even more complicated when you are not in the same state where you purchased - another reason, IMHO (in my humbe opinon)for universal healthcare coverage. This is especially annoying as I pay a very expensive premium every month for health insurance. Go figure....

Listen, Write, Type

This is my new mantra as I began transcriping the interviews for my book on Thursday. First I relisten to the interviews with headsets on while taking detailed notes of the content and type up the notes onto a Word document to later be developed into a chapter. I started at the beginning with my very first interview in Lancaster, Ontario at the home of Jim and Betty Healey. Listening to the tapes brings me back to the feeling of my visit with them on the weekend of May 9th - llth, their sumptuous gardens, the inspired labyrinth walk day on Saturday that over 50+ people attended and the delightful time I had getting to know each of them better. They have a retreat center at their home, entitled, "Tigh Shee" - which is gaelic for "House of Peace" - a name they borrowed on one of their trips to Scotland on the isle of Ionia. Creating peaceful, safe and beautiful natural environments - both physically (in their magical gardens)and emotionally/spiritually is their joint mission and life's purpose. I am grateful that I had the privilege to experience it first hand and hear the stories of how they manifested its creation. I have now finished transcriping both of their interviews and the next step is to write a rough draft of a chapter to be followed by a follow-up interview with them to check on the status of their projects.

It feels good to have begun the writing processing - after all that is why I am in Taos. I have begun training at the new Health club and will start working regular shifts next week. One of the members told me about a weekly knitting group in town that meets every Weds pm at 6 - I am looking forward to dropping in and having company while I knit.... This will be a bit of a challenge for awhile, however.

Last week while I was slicing an avocado for dinner the knife slipped and cut my palm. Not badly enough that it needed stitches (according to my lay diagnosis)but obviously deep enough that it apparently has done nerve damage - the section of my palm cut (on my left hand), my index and middle fingers are numb and continue to be. Each day there is a subtle improvement (hopefully I am not deluding myself with wishful thinking)and decrease in the numbness but it's still present and affecting digital manipulation - especially anything that involves fine motor control in my left hand - ie: washing dishes, shampooing my hair, typing, etc. A few years back I had accidentally cut a sliver off the side of my thumb and I remember how long it took for the numbness to wear off.... I have tried to make a Dr.'s appt; however, I have been informed by several Dr.'s offices that they don't take out of state insurance and that I would have to pay them first and then be reimbursed by my insurance company later - which I interpret as not being reimbursed - realistically. I don't relish the idea of been seen at the emergency room and paying the hefty co-pay especially when I already have an appt at the Family Practice Assocs. on October 1st for a repeat CT scan. Navigating the health care system has become even more complicated when you are not in the same state where you purchased - another reason, IMHO (in my humbe opinon)for universal healthcare coverage. This is especially annoying as I pay a very expensive premium every month for health insurance. Go figure....

It's official...

A herculean effort over the past week has finally resulted in an official new mailing address! Keep those postcards and letters coming to: HCR 74, Box 21409, El Prado, NM 87529 I had wanted an official Taos address; however, El Prado is a neighboring area just outside of Taos and the good news is that there's a neighborhood box at the end of my physical address on 19 Wisdom Way Rd so it's convenient way to collect mail from all you well wishers and bill collectors...
Now I just have to get a library card (later today) and I will really feel settled in and ready to begin work on the reason I am here in the first place! Tomorrow's the official day of beginning on compiling interviews and turning recordings into a book. My last "nesting" investment was a new southwest designed/colored tablecloth and napkins purchased yesterday in the retail mecca of Santa Fe - and that was a colossal effort as well but I won't bore you with the details of retail withdrawal in Taos and the mystery tour of finding the perfect tablecloth in SF. I had made the trip to Santa Fe to my new orthodontist to finish up the last haul of my braces. Dr. Cook married the same year I was born - if that gives you any idea of his age! He chuckled when he met me - he said that he's a pediatric orthodontist -but would swear to the fact that I'm only 18 - and made me promise to keep that secret as well.

I also just found out this morning that I will begin training at the new health club on Friday am and Sat afternoon - the recent hire did not work out (not because she didn't like it but she was already overcommited with graduate school, etc.)and I will be working 3 shifts per week: Weds, Thurs, and Sat afternoons from 1:45 pm to close - about 20 - 22 hours per week. Given the workings of the stock market lately and cost of living in Taos this is a welcome experience - to at least cover groceries and gas each week.

Speaking of the stock market it's a challenge to not get freaked out by recent events... Especially if you're investor and you don't have a clue (probably nobody does)how long this downturn will last and what it will take for the market to recover. I have had the privilege of living off the interest from my investments -and up until about 6 months ago that wasn't affecting principle that much. Now it's a different story - one that gives me pause about appropriate next steps and how to keep my "nest egg" safe in these volatile times. Of course banks can declare bankruptcy (many smaller ones have) - do we buy bonds or hide cash under our mattress like in the old days? I know that buying into fear and the prospect of scarcity doesn't help bring abundance and the flow of money into your life. Maintaining calm and positive thoughts is a spiritual practice especially when "reality" and the media focus on its opposite. Perhaps having a TV right now is not such a positive development - I've lived without one for almost 3 yrs - it will take discipline to only "tune in" to entertaining and hopefully thought provoking movies versus the "doom and gloom" of network news stations.

Entomology 101

I never did take this class in college but now I wish I had. The downside of living in a earthship is that you tend to share space with a variety of insects - every morning I see new and unknown versions of such on the floor next to my bed (!) or in the drain of the shower stall. There are of course the different varieties of ants - I'm not too thrilled with the resident red ants - I know that color can't be good. I think I've seen several centipede species, lots of crickets (what are their mating habits?), a few small(thank goodness) lizards, lots of birds(yes I know they're not insects) chirping/eating the wild sunflowers (in this area they consider them a weed...). I've yet to hear/see coyotes but I know they're there.... One of the owners of ex-health club brought her dog, Noelle, in one day with her entire backside riddled with stitches (40 in all) - courtesy of a coyote. I didn't have the nerve to ask the details - like did it happen on a day time walk? And a few days ago, while lounging in the new health club hot tub, an employee of the forest service expounded on the dangers of hiking in the dark - that people don't realize the size of the mountain lion or bobcat population in the area. Well - you certainly won't catch me in the mountains after nightfall. I'm even feeling a bit nervous to hike by myself in the day time... And what could I bring to protect myself - pepper spray (even if I had it)is hardly a deterrent.

I guess the insects are just a reminder that this area is really different from my familiar stomping grounds in the White Mtns - and adjustments are to be expected and I intend - to be appreciated. I do really appreciate the beautiful blue sky on most days and the warmth of the sun. Even when the temperatures are 60 degrees or so it feels alot warmer -more like high 70's or low 80's because the sun is so strong and with the higher altitude (6,000 feet or so above sea level)we're so much closer to it in Northern New Mexico. There's something very earthy and natural about all the adobe dwellings and I am really glad that my earthship is on the mesa affording a great view of the Sangro de Christo Mtns every day. The turquoise trim on the windows and doors here is an inspirational addition of color to offset the natural shades of brown of the buildings. Maybe because of the expansiveness of the landscape the folk here seem consistently friendly - a true blessing for me - being a stranger in a strange land.

My daughter, Jenn, from Durango, CO (about 3 1/2 hrs away)visited this weekend and I got to do some of the tourist activities that I hadn't taken the time for yet - like visit Taos Ski Valley (elevation above 9,000 feet), get a glimpse of the valley that is supposedly the location of Julia Roberts' house, roam the boutiques on the Plaza, Bent St., and Ledoux St as well go for a much needed shopping trip to Santa Fe for a visit to the typical big box stores - TJMaxx, Target, Best Buy, Linens n' things, and the infamous Trader Joe's - in which I discovered more reasonable prices than the local grocery stores. Although Santa Fe was invigorating my choice to winter in Taos is more to my liking - smaller, less congested and closer to the mountains - as well as bordering the refreshing sight of the Rio Grande - the only fresh body of water in miles....

Keeping the Faith

Although somewhat disappointed that my first attempt at a part time job didn't work out I quickly discovered the benefits of letting go of what does not serve me - and how that creates the space for something better to appear that does serve me and my highest good. Part of me didn't want to let go of the job at Taos Spa and Tennis Club until I had located another position. Then I realized that holding onto to something for reasons of security and scarcity thinking would continue to stagnate the flow of energy and better options wouldn't be attracted to me because I would be in the field of "hanging on". How many other times have I done that in my life with other jobs, relationships, and issues... Too many to count. Maybe this should be my new mantra - if it doesn't feel good after 3 days - let it go.

Of course that doesn't mean that there aren't many times that relationships with employers, partners/spouses, etc. aren't worth fighting for and staying through the "thick and the thin" - it's a process of discernment - is it temporarily going thru a "yucky" phase or is this a sign of irreconcilable differences and continuing decay? I'm certainly no expert on this subject as I have had a series of varying length monogamous relationships (8 yrs, 9 yrs, 11 yrs respectively)but I'm hopeful that this lesson (it has been a recurring one)will serve me well as I navigate potential future relationships whether with friends or romantic partners.

So the upshot of letting go of the less than perfect job is that I have been spending more time at the other gym in town, Northside Health and Fitness Ctr., and have noticed how much warmer, more relaxed the atmosphere is - a real sense of community. I approached the manager and found out that although there's no current positions available the owner would be open to a trade for membership for a certain # of hours/month as well as being on the sub list to fill in for staff vacation/sick days. The owners are a lesbian couple with 2 children and are bright, politically liberal and passionate about fostering a sense of warmth and community at their facility. As Shelley, one of the co-owners, talked to me she invited me into her office, showed me the map of the states highlighting the percentages of support for the current nominess for President and made no excuses for her support for Obama; then delightly showed me a utube video of her daughter and son (ages 6 and 3)singing and playing instruments with a local band. I consistently noticed the way the manager greeted members, the hugs that were mutually reciprocated and the amount of laughter that could be heard from my seat in the sidelines while using my laptop and sipping iced Americano's...(in case you were wondering - only one/day) This made me realize that this was the place for me and so it is. Yesterday I scored a free membership card and will train at some future date for filling in behind the desk.

I have a sense that this will be a good introduction to the community of Taos; already while soaking in the hot tub I met a healing touch practitioner who gave me the name of a Reiki Master in town who might be involved in a Reiki exchange group.
And heard warnings about the mountain lions and bobcats in the mountains... Well that's the subject of another entry....

Dear Wilson

In the movie, "Castaway" Tom Hanks (I think 2002)is stranded on a deserted island for 4 years. His only companion, other than wildlife, is his created relationship with "Wilson" a soccer ball (or is it a volleyball, I can't remember)that he has painted (with his own blood)with a human face on and converses with regularly. I can identify with him in some small way - I am living in a new area where I don't know anyone - one of my sources of solace and companionship is writing my blog - knowing that there are some loyal readers out there who communicate back with me - making me feel less isolated and alone. Although the move was my choice it still is a challenge to be surrounded by strangers and exist on the substance of polite daily etiquette rather than soul food of deep friendships and family members.

Soon after arriving I decided to search for a part time job - an avenue for spending $$ and a way to socialize and meet fellow Taosenos. I noticed an ad for the Taos Spa and Tennis Club and immediately applied, began training last Friday and have worked several shifts. In my haste to fulfill my needs for human contact I neglected to thoroughly research the club, its atmosphere, and energy. After 4 days there I felt exhausted, emotionally drained and unhappy. The staff are not very friendly, welcoming or warm - the pace is hectic, tense and charged. The front desk even has 2 cameras posed on it; obstensibly to monitor it for a potential hold-up or filming of a confrontation from a member - however, one of the staff clued me in that the owners regularly watch the video to make sure the front desk personnel are "behaving" by not drinking, eating or stealing $$ from the front desk. It felt a little too much like "big brother" to me - in addition to the fact that there is so much turnover in the staff that they don't bother to order name tags for employees. The closing procedures involve lifting up to 50# weights and returning them to their stands as well as unfolding/cranking a heavy pool cover over the outdoor pool. By last night I had decided to terminate - despite feeling guilty about a) doing it after only 3 days and b) taking their time to train me in procedures... After tossing and turning for 2 hours last night I made a commitment to myself to speak to the manager first thing this morning. I know too well what can happen if I don't listen to my intuition.... And so I did - I gave her honest feedback about my reasons and hopefully that will be useful to the owners and future employees. Last night I drew the angel card labeled, "Abundance" advising to trust that abundance is readily available to me and this morning I drew the tarot card, "Freedom" to recognize that I am never "trapped" by my choices and always have the freedom to choose again. How prophetic and appropriate to my situation.

Yesterday I visited another health club in town on the northside that appears to be smaller, more relaxed and warmer. I am just going to hang out in the club for awhile before making any commitment for work - right now they don't have any -openings anyway - altho - there maybe an opportunity for me to trade hours for a free membership. I keep repeating the mantra - "this or something better" from a song by Karen Drucker and have trust that I will attract the perfect part time job - just like I attracted the perfect earthship as my temporary home!

A Southwestern Farmer's Market and the culture of laundromats

A farmer's market in Taos has a somewhat different flavor and ethos than ones I frequented in the NE. First there's the profusion of chiles - red, green and yellow - whole, fresh, dried, made into wreaths, hung from wires as lights, necklaces, bracelets, etc. There are chile biscuits, scones and of course salsas. There were many foods I have not yet made the acquaintence of - sopapias, churros, and others I can't remember... And of course live mariachi(sp) music and a few other solo folk musicians playing for the crowd's appreciation. The usual assortment of veggies for sale as well as the myriad variety of beans - I counted 7 different kinds of pintos alone! Unfortunately I had already done a buying splurge at the grocery store and limited myself to some fresh garlic but next week I will know better....

Another venture for the weekend was a trip to the local laundromat - a perfect occasion for people watching, analyzing behavior (the therapist in me still lives!)and getting my 2 week old laundry clean. It brought me back to college days - when my clothes were washed in anonymous washers/dryers and I played the waiting game with other strangers. Have you ever noticed how people do their laundry so differently? There are the "shove it in" type who don't sort colors and try to sqeeze in as much as possible into the too small washer. Do they use cold, hot or warm temp? Perhaps that explains pink and orange underwear and bleached spotted jeans. These same type of people don't tend to fold their clothes after the dryer I've noticed - it's again the "shove it into" the plastic bag and run out the door. Then there are the segregationist type, bordering on obsessive-compulsive who take up 3 washers at a time because they don't believe in any colored/white clothes touching, the way you wouldn't let any of your vegetables, potatoes or meat touch on your plate. They naturally are the folder types - taking pains to put creases in their towels and sheets and painstakingly matching socks - putting them into their own section of the basket upon completion. Some people are friendly and others maintain an aloof stance - almost as if they don't want anyone to know they are doing this embarassing task - averting eye contact and keeping as much distance as you would on a New York City sidewalk rushing past pedestrians intent upon their destination.

If I had a financial windfall I would want to develop a designer laundromat (why are most of them dirty, and have a living below the poverty level feeling?) - with beautiful decorations on the walls, tiled floors, and colorfully painted walls. In addition I envision an "honor" used trading book section, self serve keurig green mountain coffee maker, free wifi, TV, a healthy snacks vending machine, comfortable chairs, and an abundance of wheeled laundry carts that actually work. Of course a big community bulletin board - maybe a book discussion group held biweekly for people who want to bond over books as they're waiting for their laundry to be done.
Public clean bathrooms, gender specific, local newspapers for sale, and air conditioning in the warm weather. The list apparently could go on and on....
It must be an occupational hazard of a social worker/writer - always imagining how things could do with a little self-improvement, personal growth and spiritual enlightenment...

Getting to know you

Now that I have a HOME I am also beginning to focus on getted connected to Taos: the landscape, stores, restaurants, and taosenos (don't know how to pronounce it yet but this is the term for locals). Today I've gone to the farmer's market and will later go to the Taos Spa and Tennis Club for a workout and swim. Tomorrow I will attend the Unity Church which doubles as the Chamisa High School(a private charter school). Other goals include researching a writer's group, knitter's group, and applying for an official address and a library card. It's amazing how some of these little things can shift the feeling of being a nomad to a sense of belonging and "normalcy". I've already begun the process of making the earthship my home by packing up any of the objectionable decorations, linens and kitchenware (I do really like the mint green fiesta ware - service of 4) and scrubbing all the surfaces with a magic eraser and bleach. Once it's sparkling I will smudge and then it will officially be mine for as long as I feel inclined to say. The landlady, Cindy, when I told her I wanted to rent the house for 6 months smiled and said - well they all say that and then they stay longer - so who knows...

There are alot of fairs happening in the area this Fall - one of which is the annual Wool festival at the beginning of October - so I will definitely plan on attending that. I've also connected with an orthodontist in Santa Fe and will be exploring that area on a regular basis - as I hear there is a Trader Joe's there as well as a Starbucks.... The retail shopping in Taos is minimalist; Walmart and grocery stores are about it unless you want to purchase items in the high priced boutiques, art galleries (over 65), and jewelry stores. So now I move onto Phase Two of my adventure: settling into the Southwest and writing.

E. T. Phone Home

News Flash - I am now living in an Earthship.... this is the name of partial solar homes that are built in a hill, use recycled tires for roof insulation (I think - that's at least what my landlord told me), have floor to ceiling windows on the front side of the house and solar panels on the roof. I don't know yet why they are called "earthships" but visions of the movie, E.T. came to mind before viewing the residence and fantasies of intergalactic travel, colored lights and close encounters of the third kind drifted thru my imagination. In reality the adobe dwelling does look a bit different on the outside (I prefer the word interesting)but inside it's a 900 sq feet one bedroom home complete with two interior planting walls, one in the living room/kitchen and one in the bedroom; planted with lavender, tarragon, cactus and cherry tomatoes and an abundance of light - and in New Mexico that means sunlight as it is sunny over 300 days per year. In fact the only challenge with my new home, located auspiciously on Wisdom Way (no kidding that's the new address!), is how warm it gets with all that direct sun; however, there is a cooler system built into the roof that does an efficient job cooling down the living room/kitchen and bathroom area - what a boon it will be in the winter - there is back up propane heat but the landlady claims you hardly ever use it unless you want the heat at 74 degrees or above...

And the reason I found this place is because the owner of the "perfect" casita that I saw earlier in the week called me yesterday to tell me of this friend that she knew that had an earthship for rent and she thought I might be interested. The rent includes all utilities, except propane heat, direct TV (with over 200 channels - I don't know how I'll relate to this one as I haven't had a TV for 3 years), DVD player, CD player, gas stove and all furnishings... Color me happy to finally be able to unload my car after 3 months and nest into my own home. I can't wait to go grocery shopping!

Also I did get a call back from the Taos Spa and Tennis Club and will be going there this am for training and scheduling. So the moral of the story is - don't give up before the miracle! I was somewhat despondent when I left town on Weds afternoon to go to Ojo Caliente for the night but it turned out to be just the shift that was needed to change the energy and get things flowing again!

The other benefit of living in the earthship is that it is on the mesa overlooking the valley and has a dramatic view of the Sangre Christos Mtns in the background as well the immense high desert sky replete with brilliant star formations and the moon at night. This, I imagine, fits perfectly with the inspiration I'm searching to begin writing my book on "living the life of your dreams" - the ABC's of attracting and manifesting your reality.

"My mother said there would be days like this"

Despite feeling immeasurably better (maybe up to 50%) yesterday was a day of frustration, disappointment and lack of results - or so it seems. The day started incredily promising by visiting a beautiful casita (spanish for small house)about 1 and 1/2 miles from the popular Taos Plaza in the country - complete with viga ceilings (taonese for wooden beam high ceilings), a kiva fireplace, and outdoor patio, garden and aquicera (spanish for small brook - actually an irrigation ditch), and nicely appointed furniture and amenities including direct TV and wifi. Even though it was the first place I saw I immediately told the owner I wanted it and so began the process of bonding with her (a somewhat eccentric artiste, noticeably scattered and disorganized and frenetically worried about a misplaced postal insurance slip) and giving her my references/contacts, background check info, etc. I left feeling that I had found my new temporary home, saw myself writing my book on the back patio, listening to the gurgling water and secluded by the natural limb rustic fence. I also stopped by the Taos Spa and Tennis Club for a tour and intro for a possible part time position as a front desk clerk - surely with my experience owning 3 Curves, being a psychotherapist and having already worked at the Mill at Purity Spring Resort I would be a shoe-in. And to round out my projects for the day I stopped at the Family Practice Associates of Taos to inquire re: how I could get a referral for a recommended repeat CT scan at Holy Cross Hospital.

To ensure my lease on the perfect casita I also called about a few other otions and went to visit a studio condo nearby later that afternoon. Although the condo grounds were well kept and the the inside of the dwelling was clean - it was claustrophobically tiny - and became even more miniscule when the murphy bed was brought down out of the wall. I didn't feel the inspiration oozing from this place -only adult onset asthma - even though the price was right....

Even though I hadn't expected to hear from the landlord about the desired casita until the following day she called me last pm to tell me that she had already promised it to someone else and even though she tried to get them to "give it up", they really wanted it - and despite the fact that she "really liked me better and could see us as friends" she was going to honor her commitment. Of course she hadn't told me there was someone in line in front of me - she probably wanted to hedge her bets, too. I was surprised at how disappointed I felt - one because it was really adorable and two because I had really envisioned myself there.

At the Family Practice Associates office I was told that I had to be seen (ie: pay for)by one of their providers before a referral could be made for the CT scan. And although they also had a walk-in clinic I didn't meet the guidelines for "acceptable" symptoms to be treated - interestingly enough they opened the doors to the clinic at 8:15am and only saw the first 12 patients lined up outside per day (only of course if they had the acceptable symptoms - cold, flu, fever mostly). And so an appt was scheduled and even though I told the receptionist that it was recommended that I have the CT scan within the following week - the first available appt wasn't until October lst. Strike two. (For those who are wondering if I kept my promise re: radical self-care, I did take the 10/1 appt.).

I called the Taos Spa and Tennis Club back after finding out that the person responsible for interviews wouldn't be available until later in the day and she did sound somewhat interested and asked if I could come in this am. I met with her briefly and then had an interesting conversation with the owner who spent most of his time talking about the demographics of Taos county and inquiring about the business aspects of owning a Curves. He ended our "interview" with usual line of having to interview other folks and that they would call me if interested....

After solidifying myself with an iced Americano I visited another rental property - this one was advertised as "rustic" - what was I thinking? - altho in my defense it did mention that it had stone floors, solar windows in the kitchen area, gardens and trees. Don't ever mention trees to a New Englander in withdrawal - so despite common sense I went in search of it - and this is what I found:

Out in the middle of the mesa (no trees, just sage brush), a tacky home-built structure made from recyclables that probably would have fared better in a landfill - a woman who was a throwback to the "burn the bra" era of the 60's and who didn't fancy water and soap showed me the inside of the rental - in the front room there was a stack of 3 mattresses, all different brands/sizes, that appeared as if they had just been taken in out of the rain, the back "kitchen" did have the as described windows - however, the place was heavily populated with flys and other identifiable insects.

After a speedy departure I made my way to Ojo Caliente Mineral Resort Spa for the rest of the day and evening - a beautiful place with seven different types of hot mineral pools, spa treatments and tantalizing mexican fare in their "Artesan Restaurant". I justified this as my just reward for an otherwise unproductive day; hopefully that the healing waters of the pools will lift my spirits and prepare me to resume my search for the perfect casita tomorrow....

The Enchanted Circle

Cold/flu day 5 - feeling like a human being again, now the the virus has descended into my chest - luckily both nightquil and dayquil work very well keeping the wracking cough at bay.... Sunday I drove to Santa Fe to visit with Jan Stringer and Alan Hickman - turns out they were both feeling under the weather as well and we postponed our "official" interview for later although we had a delightful visit including Reiki treatments and lunch at the Blue Corn Cafe in Santa Fe (had my first taste of prickly pear iced tea - yum, sweet and citrus together). We will perhaps meet at Ojo Caliente later in the week and do our interview between (or admist) soaks in the seven different pools of hot mineral springs.

Yesterday I fulfilled one of my tourist destinations in Taos - driving the 84 mile loop of the infamous "Enchanted Circle" thru the mountains (elevations of 10,000 plus) and towns of Angel Fire, Eagle's Nest, Red River, and Questa. I discovered to my surprise and delight that the higher elevations were green and forested, pines and aspens galore! I immediately felt refreshed, my mood lightened and I think I may even been smiling (but who knows because nobody was looking). I even saw a juvenile black bear walking on the opposite side of the road as I was driving. I didn't have time to get out my camera but I slowed down long enough to see a full frontal pose and his/her glance directly at me! He/she looked incredibly beautiful and healthy - his fur was deep black and velvety, blowing gently in the breeze. I realized how much I have been missing the dense woodlands of the White Mountains and verdant valleys of Mt. Washington. Craving their shade, protection and beauty I didn't know how much they feed my soul and how displaced I feel without their presence. Perhaps due to the drive and my cold lessening I have decided to stay longer in Taos - I don't feel I've done it justice in my impaired state - so at least a week or maybe longer.

Sitting at Michele's Cyber Cafe today a woman struck up a conversation with me by asking if I knew of a place for rent for her family. She explained that her house burned to the ground on August 19th and she and her 3 teenage children were living in a shelter. As we continued to converse she asked me about my plans in Taos - which led to a description of the book that I've been researching and she commented ironically - well, you could interview me about "people living the tragedy of their lives" rather than "living the life of their dreams". Condolences and sympathy aside I said a silent prayer of gratefulness for myself, my situation and the freedom I have to take this time to travel the country. Although currently homeless myself - it is by choice - and I can't imagine the devastation and trauma of displacement through tragedy. My recent semi pity party because of my cold and travel weariness seems shallow and indulgent - a good reminder to focus on what is present in my life rather than what is missing...

The best key lime pie

Having a cold/flu, day 2.... Aside from spending most of the day in bed, watching cheesy movies (ie: "My Cousin Vinny", "Video Voyeurism - The Susan Wilson story")and TV shows - even cartoons have some entertainment value - I had 2 memorable experiences of the day. One was the chance again to go to "Michelle's Livingroom cyber cafe" where the coffee is strong, the chairs/couches comfortable and the internet is free. Set up like a living room it is casual, comfortable and inviting -complete with restrooms, TV screen (where I saw latest news about Hurricane Gustav and McCain's pick in running mate) and water fountain. I am grateful that I found this place - thanks to the owner of the motel I am staying at, Adobe Wall Motel (the prices are reasonable but the amenities aren't modern...).

When I came to Taos last March with a group of folks we stopped at "Graham's Grille", a restaurant on the plaza and although the lunch was good the most memorable/delectable aspect was the dessert we ordered and shared amongst the five of us - key lime pie(they only had one piece left). Not just some ordinary key lime pie it was the best I had ever tasted: replete with fresh whipped cream on top, a twisted slice of fresh lime, sprinkled with chopped pistachios and finished off with a lime tequila sauce with whole pistachios. I hungered for more and the rest of the visit was peppered with allusions to the incredible pie we had tasted and used as a comparison to all of life's other hedonistic pursuits (if it isn't as good as the key lime pie then it isn't worth doing!). So you guessed it - yesterday afternoon I walked to Graham's Grille and ordered my key lime pie as takeout and returned with it to my motel room - so no one would see me licking the inside of the carton to finish off the lime tequila sauce and whipped cream. Creamy lime citrus, fluffy whipped cream, velvety tequila sauce - I do wax poetic.

Unlike many repeat experiences it was better than the first time - mostly because I had the whole piece to myself and didn't have to share it with anyone! Luckily the pie cost $8.53/pp so I don't think I'll be tempted to order anymore while I am here... However, if I don't feel alot better soon this may be the perfect rationalization to order another piece on my way out of town.

Immune to her charms

Taos is arguably one of the prettiest and most interesting cities I've visited; however I'm currently immune to her many charms... Beginning on Wednesday pm I noticed those dreaded signs of a flu/cold coming on and by yesterday they were present in full force. Body chills, headache, sinus pain congestion, dripping nose, etc. - I've only mananged to knit and watch old movies on TV since my arrival even though the local newspaper, "The Taos News" details many fun and entertaining activities - especially over the upcoming labor day weekend... An arts and craft fair in Kit Carson park, live music, a plethora of art museums, and of course lots of retail artisan shops. Taos is known for being a mecca for artists, writers and musicians as well as holistic and spiritual practitioners. Taos is equally know for its signature adobe style buidlings with turquoise trim - every building in the immediate downtown area is required to be built in this historical style (modeled after the famous Taos Pueblo) - even all the fast food chains, Walmart and Home Depot.

I'm treating myself with lots of "emergency C", theraflu, tylenol and nyquil - and of course Reiki and lots of fluids. I'm frustrated with my low energy level and I've had to work to practice radical self care and not try to push myself to enjoy the city. I'm hoping that I will feel much better by Sunday as I have scheduled an interview with Jan Stringer and her husband, Alan Hickman of Perfect Customers(see Jan's book by that name) in Santa Fe. Jan and Alan created the SACAT (strategic attraction certification and training)program of life coaching that I have participated in since June of '07 as well as the Master SACAT program, "Dreamweavers"
which started in November '07 and was the key impetus for me to travel cross country and interview everyone in the program about their respective creative projects.

Jan and Alan are also, my last two "official" interviews although I have already made plans to interview Karen Drucker, singer and songwriter in October at a women's empowerment retreat in Lake Tahoe, Nevada.

Sleeping or not

I am reminded of Maslow's heirachy of needs - the first one being food and shelter - on the road this would be translated to the great and constant search for clean and comfortable beds and the healing effect of 8 hrs of adequate sleep. The quality of my day time experiences is inextricably linked to the type of REM received on the previous night. So far I haven't camped at all (much to my surprise) and only used my trusty LLBean blow up mattress at my daugher, Jenn's, in Durango. Hotels and motels differ vastly in the quality of their beds and room air - I swear that even if they say the room is a non-smoking one you can still smell the remnants and of course all the perfumes/after shave colognes that have drifted into the room before I got there. Before departing I had purchased a book on traveling cross country on a budget and it listed all the hostels, campgrounds and cheap hotels. I hadn't even checked out a hostel until I got to Taos yesterday afternoon and this one is the Snowmansion in Arroyo Seco, about 10 mins north of Taos. I located it, explored it and knew that I just couldn't stay there - it was too pre-Salvation army furniture, dark, and had old (but still present)kitchen smells from decades of use by nomadic ski bums and other more adventurous travelers. My fantasy before I left was that I would connect/meet with fellow travelers at hostels and save money in the process. I even peeked in their tepees - segregated by gender - with four cots in each and as romantic as it sounds they didn't have windows except for the door flaps - which could let in other undesirable beings - I've been told about the black widow spiders and rattlesnakes in the Southwest - and I'm not that brave! Back to town in search of a cheap hotel - I learned quickly to ask to check out the room first - for cleanliness, smells, amenities, and general energy feel. After about 2 hours of searching I did find one that had a reasonable weekly rate and sacrificed some convenience by it not having air conditioning (luckily it cools down at night in Taos), wifi, continental breakfasts, or even a hair dryer or coffeemaker(the Visitor's center did say that it wasn't modern!).

Then there is the camping option. I did purchase the necessary prerequisite basics (tent, tarp, sleeping bag, aforementioned mattress)before leaving NE but haven't yet
used them - except for my trial camping experience in Vermont on a family reunion over memorial day - and that doesn't count. My first excuse is that it's been too bloody hot over the summer to even imagine camping - especially since the areas I visited (with the exception of the lovely Great Smokey Mtns)have been devoid of the tall leafy, shady trees that I'm used to in the White Mtns of New Hampshire. To be fair I have looked at a few campgrounds and RV parks and the sight of treeless, gravel sights have not been tempting. I am determined to try one out in Taos though even if only to be able to say that I did...

My "roughing it" quotient is lower than I imagined and as a result the trip is considerably more expensive than planned - especially when I haven't had the good fortune of being able to stay with folks on the road. However; my sleep is extremely important to me and I've justified the additional sums on maintaining my mental health on this trip - given that I've already given up my home, dog, family and friends for the duration...

Legends of the Fall, IV

And so for the first few days after the fall I was very sore, had a beauteous black and blue eye - the bump on my forehead had drained into my left eye - and it hurt when I rolled over in bed (I guess a bruised rib) and bruises up and down my left side from knee cap to shoulder. Still I didn't think much of it until I got to Jackson, WY, and noticed that I was still having headaches and was very tired. Even though I still didn't think I had a concussion my daughter, Erin, encouraged me to get it checked out while I was in town at her doctor's walk-in care clinic.... Long story short the FNP recommended I get a CT scan at the local hospital and when I did later that afternoon they discovered that I did have a small bleed on my brain - akin to a a black and blue on the brain tissue. The ER doc was fairly nonchalant about it and did say that it would most likely reabsorb into the tissue; however, he did recommend a repeat CT scan in 2 - 3 weeks with a consult with a neurosurgeon. All because of my addiction to coffee! Whew - I guess I have a propensity (up until now)to not get the message on the whisper but on the hammer. Yet another lesson on listening to my intuition and following angelic guidance. I've cut a deal now - only one medium iced coffee/day and no more - not even decaf...

Of course the other consequence is dealing with an out-of-network referral with my insurance company and primary care doctor for another CT scan - probably somewhere in Santa Fe or Alburquerque, New Mexico. I am tempted to not follow thru - as my headaches have lessened and my energy level is returning; however my intuition tells me to practice radical self care and take the necessary, if inconvenient, steps to follow through on the recommendation. All part of the bargain...

Durango, CO

Durango is the closest to the "four corners" (intersection of four states: Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona and Utah)that I've been to so far - it's in a valley of the San Juan Mtns about 6 hours south of Denver and only 20 minutes from the border of New Mexico. The famous Silverton 10 gauge train lives here and takes tourists to Silverton and Ouray daily on a 3 hour trip. Durango has an historic downtown, one that reminds me of the old "West" and the beautiful Animas river meanders around and thru its city limits. Alot of folks float on the Animas; in fact that's what my daughter, Jenn, was doing on the afternoon I drove into town. Cowboy boots and hats abound along with belts studded with silver buckles and gems.... Durango is somewhat of a college town with Ft. Lewis College and Pueblo Community College in its midst. Yesterday we drove to Farmington, NM, for a prebirthday shopping trip - the closest "mall" 45 minutes away. It's sunny here 300 days a year; last nights rain was a rarity and it really helped lower the temperature...

Yuppieville

Just to keep you guessing I'm going to throw in a blog about Boulder, CO and get back to "Legends of the Fall" another day. Boulder has consistently been voted one of the most "liveable" cities in America by favorite magazines, journals and travel guides. What makes it so enticing is the affluent lifestyle afforded by many of its residents, its' proximity to the Rocky Mtns, and its liberal and progressive politics. All of which I noticed and admired to some degree. I had read in their chamber of commerce site that 80% of the population in Boulder is between 25 - 40 years old. So when my friend Penelope and I went walking in the pedestrian mall on Pearl Street (after eating lunch at the awesome and huge Whole Foods Market)we noticed many individuals who seem to fit this description. Every restaurant and retail store was promoting "green" policies, there were posters for yoga classes on each corner, everyone seemed fashionably dressed in chic post hippie style(well, except for the one apparent homeless man lying on a bench - then again he could have be an itinerant street musician)and many were enjoying the views from the sidewalk cafes and park benches - next to artistically created rock water sculptures. I know I'm sounding a bit sarcastic and I don't mean to be really - although - as my friend, Penelope, pointed out - one of her impressions of Boulder is that "everyone is competing to be the most enlightened". I can't say that I would go that far; however, there was a sameness to what we saw and although on any ordinary day I love sidewalk cafes, organic food co-ops, bookstores, intelligent conversations about liberalism in politics and life - there was something a bit unnerving about having it all in one place and so much of it at one time. I guess it reminded me about the adage "too much of a good thing". Is this making any sense? My reaction still baffles me - maybe it's due to spending the previous day in the deserted plains of Wyoming, I don't know, I'll have to sleep on it and ponder it more on way to southwestern Colorado tomorrow enroute to visit my daughter, Jenn, in Durango.

Legend of the Fall, part III

Oh how insidious addictive behaviors can be... No sooner did I give up drinking diet coke than my mind/body began searching for a "legal" alternative - something I later learned was a way to feed the "caffeine" habit. It started very slowly, I didn't really noticed it until I began my road trip; however, it dawned on me that I was drinking more coffee than usual - and regular coffee, at that. A long time ago I stopped drinking caffeinated coffee and switched to only decaf and usually only 1 or 2 cups in the am only. Since it was summer I noticed that I was drinking iced coffee (many restaurants/suppliers don't offer decaf iced coffee). Things really started humming after I got a Starbucks card - ostensibly to register it online so I could have free wifi access on my trip. Of course that means you need to load some money on the card and then that means you need to order something. Trying to stay away from the sweet stuff I began ordering grande iced Americano's. Then something really tricky happened - I discovered, with a gift card, you could get refills for free. Did I say F R E E? Of course that one always grabs me, that seductive "free" word - especially at ayce buffets and Americano refills. So now it was up to 2 caffeinated large beverages a day - more than what I was doing with the diet coke - just like the diet - once I "fall off the wagon" I rebound by eating more desserts than ever.

And so that brings me to St. Cecilia's Cathedral in Omaha, NE. My friend Anda and I meditated there for 45 minutes one day during my visit and during that time I asked for some help with my increased consumption of coffee and anything with caffeine it in it, period. Nothing noticeable happened for 3 days - no changes in daily intake, craving, etc. Until Saturday, August 9th. On this day I was staying with Betsy in Chicago; she was out for the morning and I was exhausted from the previous days' sightseeing and evening revelry and clearly decided to stay in her condo for the duration of her plans - into mid afternoon when we had her interview scheduled. I did fine until about noon and then the craving started. Despite my inner guidance, the drizzingly rain, the unfamiliar neighborhood(which was all black residents - as I've mentioned in an earlier blog)I reluctantly but with determination researched the nearest Starbucks and set off for my fix. About 3/4 of the way there I tripped on an uneven cement pavement and without warning fell onto the sidewalk hitting key areas on my left side - most noticeably my left forehead, shoulder, chest, wrist and knee. Stunned I looked down at my hands and realized that I hadn't even braced myself for the fall - it was that sudden. Although a gentleman offered to help me get up I was in too much pain from the fall to get up that quickly. I soon realized; however, that he was probably going to stand there until I did get up so I slowly made my way to a vertical position and began rubbing my head, giving myself some Reiki, I set off undeterred to my destination and beverage of choice. I did smarten up though and called Betsy requesting that she pick me up at the coffee shop on her way back into town rather than risk walking back. Afterwards sittting at her kitchen table with an ice pack I pondered the meaning of the accident (usually there are no accidents... or coincidences). And then it all became clear - yet another message - this one a smack to the head! Luckly I didn't lose consciousness, feel dizzy or nauseaous. I knew enough to check for signs of a concussion and even though Betsy offered to take me to the ER to be checked I really didn't feel I needed to be, at that point.
to be continued....