Dear Wilson

In the movie, "Castaway" Tom Hanks (I think 2002)is stranded on a deserted island for 4 years. His only companion, other than wildlife, is his created relationship with "Wilson" a soccer ball (or is it a volleyball, I can't remember)that he has painted (with his own blood)with a human face on and converses with regularly. I can identify with him in some small way - I am living in a new area where I don't know anyone - one of my sources of solace and companionship is writing my blog - knowing that there are some loyal readers out there who communicate back with me - making me feel less isolated and alone. Although the move was my choice it still is a challenge to be surrounded by strangers and exist on the substance of polite daily etiquette rather than soul food of deep friendships and family members.

Soon after arriving I decided to search for a part time job - an avenue for spending $$ and a way to socialize and meet fellow Taosenos. I noticed an ad for the Taos Spa and Tennis Club and immediately applied, began training last Friday and have worked several shifts. In my haste to fulfill my needs for human contact I neglected to thoroughly research the club, its atmosphere, and energy. After 4 days there I felt exhausted, emotionally drained and unhappy. The staff are not very friendly, welcoming or warm - the pace is hectic, tense and charged. The front desk even has 2 cameras posed on it; obstensibly to monitor it for a potential hold-up or filming of a confrontation from a member - however, one of the staff clued me in that the owners regularly watch the video to make sure the front desk personnel are "behaving" by not drinking, eating or stealing $$ from the front desk. It felt a little too much like "big brother" to me - in addition to the fact that there is so much turnover in the staff that they don't bother to order name tags for employees. The closing procedures involve lifting up to 50# weights and returning them to their stands as well as unfolding/cranking a heavy pool cover over the outdoor pool. By last night I had decided to terminate - despite feeling guilty about a) doing it after only 3 days and b) taking their time to train me in procedures... After tossing and turning for 2 hours last night I made a commitment to myself to speak to the manager first thing this morning. I know too well what can happen if I don't listen to my intuition.... And so I did - I gave her honest feedback about my reasons and hopefully that will be useful to the owners and future employees. Last night I drew the angel card labeled, "Abundance" advising to trust that abundance is readily available to me and this morning I drew the tarot card, "Freedom" to recognize that I am never "trapped" by my choices and always have the freedom to choose again. How prophetic and appropriate to my situation.

Yesterday I visited another health club in town on the northside that appears to be smaller, more relaxed and warmer. I am just going to hang out in the club for awhile before making any commitment for work - right now they don't have any -openings anyway - altho - there maybe an opportunity for me to trade hours for a free membership. I keep repeating the mantra - "this or something better" from a song by Karen Drucker and have trust that I will attract the perfect part time job - just like I attracted the perfect earthship as my temporary home!