Taos Guilt

I'm suffering from a new diagnosis that's called "Taos Guilt". It has to do with how many events/experiences are scheduled each weekend in Taos and how many I manage to get to. Sometimes it's about the cost and sometimes, even if it's free I don't manage to make it. For example, this past weekend, Andrew Harvey was giving a talk on Sacred Activism and his new book, "Hope". One of my closest friends is reading "Hope" and several acquaintances have spoken highly of Harvey's speaking abilities when he was in town this past summer for a week long intensive. I even received a personal email invitation to attend. But by the time Friday evening rolled around, I felt tired, and wanted to vegge at home. I hemmed and hawed for 30 minutes and by the next time I looked at the clock it was 6:55 p.m. and even if I had gone to it at that point I would have been late. And now I have the aftermath - several folks have told me about the evening (of course, it was great, inspirational, passionate, etc)and I definitely feel guilty. It's like when you want to eat a hot fudge sundae, it feels good at the time and then afterwards you regret it. I was reminded by someone, 'thanks!', that "who knows when he'll be back in town...." Oh well, I guess the only solution is to not read the "Tempo" section of the Taos news on Thursday and not open any suspicious emails that could contain invitations.

And that was just one of things that was going on last weekend. Not to mention artist openings, musicians playing, including a free Chamber concert on Sunday afternoon at the Harwood, a movie at the TCA (my boss told me "Departures" was not to be missed), the farmer's market on Saturday and Sunday and various other entertaining events(and a new play opening at the Metta theatre). So I feel bad Monday, it slips into Tuesday regrets, then I have Wednesday when I've almost forgotten to feel guilty but oops then comes Thursday when the cycle starts all over again!

And there's still so many places I haven't made it to in Taos yet - true confessions: any of the museums(I don't think using the restroom at Hacienda Hartinez counts!), the Pueblo, most of the art galleries, many of the restaurants, except for the less than $15 an entree variety, a temple service, any of the sangha's, on and on. I don't think I'll ever feel there's nothing to do in this little town!

It's a Blur

Since I returned from NY on the Reiki Master retreat life has been a blur. When I stopped off at the SOMOS office to look thru their used books and talk about a book club I also ended up agreeing to be the volunteer coordinator for the upcoming StoryTelling Festival on the weekend of 10/16 -10/17. Additionally, I got an offer to consider being the curator for the winter writer's series in January and February, 2010. This involves selecting local and nationally known writers who live in the Southwest (or visit)to read on 8 consecutive Friday p.m. from 1/8 - 2/26/10. Contacting them, organizing a venue, writing press releases, arranging book signings and radio interviews, etc. Alot of work and a modest stipend to go with it. And I did say yes, feeling that it would be a great opportunity to meet other writers and get a 'birds eye' view of writer's lives. So figuring that there will be many that are either not available or uninterested I'm working on a potential slate of 25-30 writers for the SOMOS board to review on 11/10. The approved writers will get sent contracts and they will send on publicity materials: bio, pictures and publication history. Whew! I'm getting tired already.

And there have already been some percs with the job. I was invited to the pre-Fest party (for the Story Telling Festival) at Allegra Houston's and Cisco Guevera's house last night replete with some Taos notables from radio, newspaper, and the arts (musicians, writers, artists)community. I noticed how some of the affluent do 'low-key' really well. It was casual, relaxed, no fancy clothes or food, actually potluck with many new mexican and native dishes including posole, and red chile sauce over mashed potatoes. I was informed that that's the way the natives like it and it was really tasty - after that first mouthful when my taste buds had to get used to the spicy red chile!

My novel is coming along. I aim to get five typed pages/week completed for writing group on thursday a.m.'s and even with my new schedule with SOMOS I've made it a priority. Except working out at the gym hasn't been.... There's always next week.

I was treated to a performance by one of the writers in the group who is also an exceptionally talented musician (plays trombone, piano, alp horn, among others - and sings opera)at her home a few weeks ago. She and her husband stay in Taos for a few months in the summer and teach at a German Conservatory of Music from October to July each year. Abbie performed a long operetta, accompanied by some of her trombone playing. They offered it for free but it could easily have been a high price ticketed performance.

Tonight beginns the Story Telling Festival with storytellers from all over America - including one from San Francisco who grew up in Blue Hill, ME and one from Decatur, Georgia who grew up in Cuba. I'm looking forward to - after I get the volunteers all squared away with their responsibilities - which should be a neat trick since I'm not exactly sure what that entails....

Reiki Retreat

Just back from a lovely week long Reiki Retreat on Pyramid Lake in upstate NY. A whole week of daily Reiki treatments, walks, boating, tarot card readings, evening discussions, great food - what could be better. Had a chance to see Howard from England, Sarah and Jan from Scotland, Winthrop from Grenada, Annie from NH and Florida, Carol and Penelope from NY. The only glitch was that we passed a cold from one to another as the week progressed. Just think how sick we might have been if we hadn't been doing daily Reiki? Next retreat won't be for 2 years and we're aiming for either Spain or the south of France. The place we stayed at is a catholic camp and retreat center complete with a family of loons, canoes, kayaks, rowboats and some sailboats. A bit of foliage was beginning and the apples were delicious.

I am meeting with someone from SOMOS (SW writer's organization)tomorrow to begin plans for a book group for writers on a monthly basis. I think for October - Dec we'll read authors who have written about the Southwest and then Jan - May we'll focus on memoirs. My intent is to discuss the books with a writer's eye, analyzing style, tone, plot, dialogue, etc.

Today in water color class we visited the famous St. Francis D'Assisi church in Ranchos de Taos and painted it. It's the most photographed church in all of New Mexico. Constructed from traditional bale straw and adobe it's been a functioning church for over 150 years. My piece actually looked like the church, a bit, so I guess I can say I'm showing some improvement. What I'm really liking is working with color and seeing it splashed across the paper with water and brushes.

Summer of Love II

Last Friday night was the last SOMOS reading of the series and featured prolific writer John Nichols (The Sterile Cuckoo, The Milagro Beanfield Wars, The Wizard of Loneliness - all three of which have been made into movies), Phaedra Greenwood and Enrequieta Vasquez. Enrequieta published a radical feminist newspaper in the 60's about the plight of Mexicans immigrating to New Mexico. Phaedra read from her unpublished novel, "On the Bus" - her true adventures with Ken Kesey and the Merry Pranksters at Woodstock in 1969. John finished off with reading a selection from the "Milagro Bean Field Wars" which was hilarious.

I've yet to have a sighting of some other famous movie stars who live in or nearby to Taos but hope to someday. Julia Roberts was seen at the local health food store not too long ago. Dennis Hopper and Dean Stockwell have been in attendance at the Harwood Museum for various functions - mostly expensive $150/ticket affairs. I guess there still is a segment of the very wealthy who live in Taos.

I've been invited to organize a book club at SOMOS for writers beginning next month. I'm so excited but don't know if I'll remain so when other people throw in their opinion on book choices. I'm even pickier about that than food. Some genres just won't do - like mystery, romance, science fiction. I guess since I'm in charge I'll say it's limited to fiction - maybe take our clue from the Oprah Book Club - she usually picks some really good books.

Now I'm reading another Anne book - Annie Dillard's, "Pilgrim at Tinker Creek" which is about her observations and experiences of nature over four seasons in the Roanoke Valley in Virginia. Heady stuff. She must have been an entymologist in a former life because she really slings those insectoid names around like nobody's business. It's like reading philosophy, you have to stop and really think about what you're reading and not just plow through the page. Her powers of observation are phenomenal. Her descriptions sublime. I've never read anyone describe sunsets the way she does. Or the gloaming. Or the pools of bugs, tadpoles and amoeba in the creek by her home. Can't say it's my favorite but it's really giving my brain a workout!

The Anne's have it

I've been in a period of intense reading for the past several months. In hopes that some of the genius genes of the authors will rub off on me, I suppose. And of course I've always been a reader and go through phases of more or less intensity. I currently have 10 books sprawled out on my coffee table and end table to pick up at a moment's notice. I notice that I'm reading alot books by authors who start with the name "Anne" - just to mention a few: Anne Tyler, "Breathing Lessons"; Annie Proulx, alot of her short stories; Anne Lamott, "Bird by Bird" and "Blue Shoe"; and in the past I've read the diary of Anne Frank(who hasn't), poems of Anne Sexton, Anne Morrow Lindbergh's "Return from the Sea" and of course all the Anne of Green Gables series - which doesn't really count since that's not the name of the author - but since it's written in first person you almost feel like it is. I've never ventured into Anne Rice's Vampire series and don't think I ever will.

Don't even get me started on the Anne's or Ann's in my life because there are plenty - to include my grandmother Anna, my other grandmother Annie and my mother, Ann.

I had a fantasy when I was in 3rd or 4th grade when I really began to notice libraries that before I died I would read all the fiction books in the stacks, going chronologically from A to Z. As all good fantasizes go that one vanished soon enough - especially as the school years progressed and I had to spend more and more of my time reading nonfiction in order to study for tests and write papers. Surely there must be less novels by people of the same name vs last name - what a minute what am I thinking - it wouldn't make any difference - it would still be the same number of books. Math was never my long suit....

I've also recently joined a "Paperback Book Swap" Club (it also includes hardbacks)online. You can list books that you want to give away as well as books you want to receive and the club matches you with fellow readers from all over the US. It's been fun to screen my small library(currently due to the move)to chose which books I'm willing to part with and then indulge in a wish list for new ones. I've started seriously haunting the used book section of the library, thrift stores with a books section and book sales of all types - choosing books I can list to give away - but they also must be books I want to eventually read so if no one wants them I won't feel stuck with them.

Yesterday I scored at the gym because someone had left three hardback new books in the lost and found. After two weeks there're up for grabs and boy are they good ones, "Beach Music" by Pat Conroy; "Pigs in Heaven" by Barbara Kingsolver and one by Patricia Cornwall that I can't remember the name of. But the problem is that Pat Conroy and Barbara Kingsolver are two of my favorite authors and I don't have those two books - even though I've read them. I might just have to keep them for my ever increasing library.

Summer of Love

This week marks the forty year anniversary of Woodstock in August, 1969. Taos has been celebrating all season with a marketing promotion dubbed the "Summer of Love". This trendy theme has been used in various venues - from the library's open readings, to restaurant menus, art gallery openings featuring Dennis Hoffman and Robert Dean Stockwell, and readings at Somos. Taos is well know for being a "hippie" enclave during the late 60's and 70's. There were quite a few communes here in Talpa and New Buffalo as well as Lama Foundation featuring guru Ram Dass. Even Natalie Goldberg was a quasi-member of a commune in Talpa and wrote a novel from that period, "Banana Rose."

This week at Somos there were two scheduled readers: Mark Rudd, former leader of SDS (the radical Students for a Democratic Society) who has recently published a memoir from that time, "Notes from the Underground". Unfortunately his wife had to have emergency surgery so he was unable to attend. In his place was Kyra Ryan who grew the child of hippie parents in the 70's and is writing a memoir, "Wild Child" that she read from. Coincidentally her godmother, Iris Keltz, was the second reader who wrote the locally well-known book, "Scrapbook from a Taos Hippie" but who on Friday night read from the prequel, "And the Walls Came Tumbling Down" about her marriage to a Palestinian during the six day war in 1967 and subsequent years. America tends to be so pro-Israel that it was quite interesting to hear about some of the same events from a Palestinian point of view - especially as told from the point of view of an American Jew growing up in Brooklyn living in Palestine during that time.

I've ventured off in new directions and signed up for a college course in beginning watercolors which begins in a week. My daughter bought me a set of watercolor paints for last Xmas which have until now sat unopened. I have never taken an art studio class in my life and feel somewhat intimidated by the prospect. Especially at two classes, 2 1/2 hrs/week each. The instructor, who I know from the gym, said that we'll be doing alot of painting outside and taking scenic trips around Taos.

Summer Time Summer Time

I know I shouldn't brag but the summer weather in Taos has been awesome. Sun shining everyday; morning temps about 55-60 until 9 am and then it warms up to about 85-90 but no humidity. Later in the afternoon the temps go down again; sometimes there's a brief thunderstorm lasting about 30-45 mins with refreshing rain. When the sun goes down the temp goes down, too, so it's never too hot to sleep at night. A girl could get spoiled.... Only thing that's missing is the pure clear lakes of NE - oh, well, can't have everything.

My writing group is having a "literary" potluck party the end of this month in Arroyo Hondo beside the river and we've been invited to bring our inner tubes to float down the river - which is supposed to be icy cold. We'll see. We've all been invited to bring a piece of our best writing lasting about ten minutes.

Last night was another writer's reading night at SOMOS. Poet Renee Gregorio who lives in El Rito read from her latest book of poems, "Drenched", a musical group from Santa Fe named Duo Guadaloupe played and the evening ended with Rick Collignon who has written four mystery novels. Next week begins the "Summer of Love" specials reflecting on the glory days of the hippies in Taos in the late 60's and early 70's. Mark Rudd, founder of the SDS (students for a Democratic Society) will read from his memoir. Oh those radical peace protest, burn-the-bra days... Taos is a really eclectic mix of ex-hippies, native americans, and hispanic cultures. Somehow they all seem to get along. Although the whites are definitely in the minority.

The apartment is almost all decorated, now working on some minor touches. I have dubbed it my "writer's studio" - it makes it feel even more cozy. It's amazing how you can get used to living in smaller spaces. It makes me think about how some people live in their car - no that I would ever want to go that far - although last summer traveling across country for two and half months I sure felt like it...

Domestication

The theme this week has been centered on decorating my new apartment - realizing that having my furniture, wall art and "things" around me has made a big difference in feeling cozy at the new admittedly small and somewhat dark space. I made kitchen curtains over the weekend and this week I'm working on drapes for the livingroom/bedroom window. Grateful to have a friend to borrow a sewing machine from and bought a cheap iron from Walmart. I may even try my hand at quilting - I saw a navajo wall hanging pattern in the local quilt shop that really intriqued me.

I've noticed that my color choices are strikingly different than ones I've chosen before. Always a blue and white kitchen in New England - now it's orange and reds - most likely the Southwest influence - as many things are painted in vibrant colors here - to distinguish from the everpresent adobe and desert earth. Taos is famous for its turquoise painted window shutters and doors. Someday I'll have to take pics and share them.

This Friday Natalie Goldberg is doing a reading at SOMOS (Society of the Muse of the Southwest) - it will be fun to hear her read some of her work because in the memoir class she focused on other people's writing rather than her own.... and now back to my own writing....

Pen Envy

I don't know what Freud might have to say about this title but I must confess that I was suffering from it this weekend, sitting around listening to other writer's writing and to the instructor, Sean Murphy, who has published four books and is a professor at UNM, Taos. It was easy to convince myself that my writing is weak, awful, sucks, etc. when compared to others. The ego flares up again... and resulted in writer's block - how not if everytime I think about writing I compare myself to others. So to get myself out of this slump I figured I could at least write my blog - nothing that I'll ever read in class and therefore presumably immune to feelings of insecurity.

To top it off yesterday I visited a new friend in El Rito who is the Head of the English Dept at UNM, Taos, and frequently does public readings of her short stories. She's unpublished at the moment, but her work is in the hands of an agent in NYC and she's waiting to hear. But I remind myself - that's why I moved to Taos in the first place - because there are alot of writers and writing groups. Nothing like being a small fish in a big pond.

I'm even procrastinating by recently diving into an over 1,000 page book by Wally Lamb, "I Know This Much is True". Great way to beat myself over the head because I can't even seem to write a page. Even during the "free writes" during class, with prompts, I was having a hard time getting started. I've heard this happens. Except it hasn't happened to me yet. I'm hoping that if I just start writing it will be like getting jump started and the engine/battery will kick in and start working on it's own. I hope I don't need a new battery.

My apartment is almost complete with decoration and furniture - thanks to thrift stores in Taos. I'm really tickled about an end table I found that has four legs made from tree trunks. It looks funky and in Taos funky is in. I also now have the poster from the Taos summer writer's conference, framed, hanging over my reading chair. And that should inspire me. And tomorrow is writer's group in the morning so I have to get something done on paper or else why pay the price of admission. Maybe I will read this in class after all.

Writers

I've had the privilege to listen to three great writers over the past couple of days. Last Friday pm I was a volunteer at SOMOS (Society of the Muse of the Southwest)and there were two readings: Jason Yurcic and Robert Mirabel. Jason is a poet from Albuquerque and has 3 books of poems published. He writes, "pain-based poetry" drawn from his traumatic childhood and travels to work with abused children, incarcerated criminials and those who have been disenfranchised. He invited a local youth to join him and had him read as well. He mentors youth in alternative high schools across New Mexico. Jason's readings were raw, real and moving. His first one was titled "Broken Ornament" about how his father was murdered on Christmas Eve.

Robert Mirabel is a native American that lives on the pueblo and is well known in Taos. He is a musican, artist and writer - a true Renaissance man. He read from his recent novel, "Looking Through Photographs". It definitely was a performance piece as Robert intoned, chanted, drummed, sang and spoke the words from his novel.

Last evening I attended a reading by the keynote speaker for the Taos Writer's Conference this year: Wally Lamb - author of "She's Come Undone", "This Much is True", "The Hour I first Believed" and others. He read a personal authobiographical piece and several chapters from his newest book, still unpublished, "Wishing and Hoping - A Christmas Story". He was friendly, funny and comfortably down to earth. He lives in Eastern Connecticut; in fact his second book, "This Much I Know is True" is set in Groton, CT, and the main character's stepfather works at EB (Electric Boat) where two of my brothers once worked.... small world.

I'm looking forward to next weekend I'm attending a workshop with local author, Sean Murphy, on "Overcoming the Barriers to your Authentic Voice" - sounds like it could be good for life as well as writing.

Go West

Back home after three and 1/2 weeks. whew.... Of course too much traveling, renting cars, buses, food and people to see. But worth it - to reconnect with family and friends. I felt like the trip was reminiscent of the "Where's Waldo" puzzle of maps -first Long Island, NY then to Saratoga Springs, NY, bus to Boston, then to Cape Cod, on to NH, back to Cape Cod, back to NH, and then finally back to Logan for return trip. I don't want to count up the $$ spent on the trip - at least the first part for the writer's conference is tax deductible....

I wished for alot of rain during my visit East - and be careful what you ask for because it rained every day except for one! Then when I returned to Taos last week it was overcast for the first day but then it's been back to sunshine as usual.

Highlights of the trip was seeing people and yes I did get my feet in the ocean (except that's all - only one 2 hr afternoon at the beach), eat a lobster roll, fried clams and lots of homemade icecream. I have the extra pounds to prove it. For some reason New Mexico is not big on ice cream - only three choices in town - McDonalds(if you call that ice cream), Baskin-Robbins, and Taos Cow - which just doesn't measure up to the homemade creamy-ness of the cows on the East. Alas - at least not as much temptation.

Settling into the new apartment and getting used to a smaller space and less sunlight - the good news about that is that it doesn't get anywhere near as hot as the earthship did on really warm days.... there's always a flip side.

New Address

I just found out today that the physical address I've been given for my new apartment is also my mailing address. Who knew? In El Prado you get both - which really gets you into alot of trouble with the Dept of Motor Vehicles. So, my new address is 305B Destino Lane, Taos, NM 87571. I moved in yesterday and spent my first night on a blow-up mattress but today the futon sofa was delivered so hopefully I will get a better night's sleep!

My birthday weekend in Colorado was great. I found out after breakfast on Saturday that Jenn and Erin had treated me to a massage for my birthday so that was the first stop. Afterwards we went to the hot springs in Pagosa Springs, CO, for an afternoon of soaking (twice in one week - what a treat)followed by dinner at Kip's Grill and Cantini, complete with margueritas! On Sunday we picked up Jenn's mountain bike and a bureau to load in the car for my return to NM and I said my goodbyes to her and her cat, Gunther, who I have been taking care of for the past six months. I've become attached to the little critter - it was hard to say goodbye. But I'll see him and Jenn again soon in NH the 3rd week in June.

My birthday started out with not such a good bang with a trip to the DMV for my 3rd try to get a driver's license in NM. With time running out on getting my car registered, I thought I'd give it another go. The DMV office is staffed with the most unagreeable, cold and downright b..... women I've ever seen congregate in one place. I've decided it's my new definition of purgatory. The rules are obscure, they keep changing and just when you think you have it down it changes again. The information I was given on my 2nd visit did not prove accurate for this attempt - the staff person had told me that I could use a statement from my bank with my social security number on it as proof of my identity (never mind that I showed them my official birth certificate, NH driver's license, and passport) - because unfortunately I've misplaced my social security card during the purging I did to get ready to drive cross country last June. So after vainly trying to reason/negotiate/beg with the clerk, I gave up and drove the 1 1/2 hrs to Santa Fe to go to the Social Security Admin office there, to sit in another long line to apply for a duplicate card. They said that I will have my new card within two weeks - which with my upcoming trip out East will make me overdue for my car registration. Oh well, I'm sure it will all work out. The SSA did give me a statment with my social security card number on it and said that that should be sufficient for the DMV. We'll see....

Moving

Nothing exciting to report this week. Moving, packing, sorting,cleaning. Flooding due to my first experience with the Southwest monsoons - who knew? All week it's been raining off and on - what a pleasure! The high desert certainly needs the rain. Last night it rained so hard during the night that it came in my skylight window and soaked a portion of my comforter - but didn't wake me up.... Last night after I got home from Santa Fe from my last writing class with Natalie Goldburg the bathroom was flooded - oh well, I hadn't mopped that floor yet.

Everything smells great - the rain sets off the scent of sage which is wonderful. The flowers are in bloom everywhere and for the first time since I've lived here I feel like I'm in New England - everything is so green. The leaves are out, in the cottowoods, the bushes and evergreens are sparkling. The woman, Genny, who's living at the place I'll be moving to on 6/1 is a gardener and she's gifting me with alot of perennials, pansies and the like in the back yard of the new apartment. Now it will be up to me to keep them thriving. A bit of a challenge. I'm not gifted with a green thumb - although I do remember the window boxes I had on the deck in Meredith every summer filled with annuals. She also has a bird bath and two hooks for bird feeders.

For my birthday and as a reward for all my hard work this week I'm going to Ojo Caliente tomorrow - it's free on your birthday which is a great bonus.... Soaking all day in the hot springs, bringing a book, my cowboy hat, sunglasses and sunscreen. Maybe the mud bath will be open. And dinner with a friend at Graham's Grille ($15 coupon on your birthday) - the place of the BEST key lime pie. Then Friday I will spend the morning moving what I can to my new apt and then off Friday night to Durango, Co, to spend the weekend with Jenn, my daughter, a continuation of birthday celebrations....

Dog and House sitting

I'm taking my name off the website list for dog sitting and house sitting, even for the ones in New Zealand and Fiji - places I've always wanted to go to.... It's clear after a mere two weeks of doing it that I'm not cut out for this. Today's my first day of freedom and I feel like I'm on holiday! Two weeks of staying at someone else's house, caring for their severely crippled (as in had to be carried outside to do their business and watched)14 yo dog, one day away from euthanasia, took way more time than I anticipated. The dog has seen much better days (hopefully) and is now in assisted living - I was the caretaker. I'm sure Monty had alot more personality when she was younger but now she doesn't bark, whimper or make any noise at all - even though I'm sure her joints are in pain. She can walk a little but it was painful to see her hobble on her doubled over paws, pitching forward, waiting for her to tumble on her face. I also realize that I'm not really an "animal" person - unless it's an animal that I've raised and have a relationship with. Sort of the same way I feel about children - I don't enjoy them indiscriminately.

Big news - to coincide with the end of dog sitting - I got the braces off the top teeth yesterday! I've been rolling my tongue over them ever since. Unfortunately the lower have to stay in another month - they had to take molds for the top and permanent retainer; they have to be shipped off to Houston, TX and take that long to come back! Oh my god what a pleasure to floss my teeth! I never thought I'd say that. I made a bargain with myself that when I got my braces off I'd floss more regularly - compared to how you have to floss when you have braces - it's a cinch. It was such an arduous task (like embroidering between your teeth) that I hardly ever did it (don't tell my orthodontist). I've had my braces for 21 months - now it's a retainer for six months all the time and then at night - I think permanently.

Most of what I missed during my two weeks sojourn as a dog sitter was having the time to write. It helped me to realize how much I love it and look forward to have pieces ready for my writing groups. Only two more weeks of Natalie Goldberg's class - last night we wrote Haiku - who knew, apparently I have a knack for it. Could I get paid for writing Haiku?

Moving

I just recently decided to stay in Taos another year. My writing is on a roll and I've always felt that I needed to be here in this landscape, environment, artsy culture to inspire me. And the book's not done - hopefully it will be within a year. So, when I first moved here I wasn't too picky about location/price for an apartment because I thought it would only be for six months... I remember my landlord smiling, saying, "they all say that" - something about the Mountains and bewitching quality to the air that sucks you in. I decided that I needed something smaller and more affordable. I found something "off the mesa" - that higher than town, with the expansive sky and view of the mountains place - in town, "near the plaza". I'm beginning to speak Taoseno. It' on Destino Lane (ironic - my current place is on Wisdom Way) - of course all the addresses have both the mailing as well as physical address. Dont' know my mailing address yet - I've heard they have a neighborhood mail box down the street.

It is a smaller place, 375 sq feet compared to over 900. It's a studio apt on the back of a duplex(full one bedroom with a fenced in front yard); it has a small galley kitchen complete with saltillo tile floors, oak cabinets and shelving, my god I'll have some counter space.... The middle room is a combo living room/bedroom and then there's a full bath - with tub. Also included is a garage for storage space and a seperate laundry room with complimentary use of the washer/dryer. Whew no more trips to the Pinch a Penny laundromat - at least for now. The price is $225 less a month than what I'm paying and it includes utilities and trash removal. I'll be moving 6/1, just one week before I leave for an extended visit back East, beginning with the IWWG cfc at Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs for 10 days.

Other than the price savings the best thing about the new place is that I can walk to town, the grocery store, favorite cafes, and bookstore. It's much leafier and greener than the mesa, lots more shade. Which will probably come in handy in the upcoming warmer months.

So here's my wish list for my visit to New England & NY - not necessarily in order of priority: visits with family and friends, writing conference, a NY deli lunch, lobster, trips to the ocean, at least a few rainy days(I miss the rain!), homemade ice cream, shopping in a real mall, hiking in the white mountains, swimming - lots of swimming - Italian food (I know just the place in Holderness, NH), fried clams, lunch at the Chinook Cafe in Conway - hope I can cover it all in 3 weeks!

Friends from Home

This week I was looking forward to visiting with two friends in Taos; one from NH (currently living in FlA) and the other from Omaha, Nebraska. The first didn't make it but the latter did. My friend, Annie's husband's prostate cancer has come back and the night of her planned trip to Albuquerque she got a call for an appt for him at the Dana Farber Cancer Ctr in Boston. He has to undergo 4-6 weeks of radiation (his prostate was removed 5 years ago). The blessing is that he has his four children living in NE area, one in Boston, and will have lots of support, care and transportation as he needs it. They were both planning on returning to NE for the summer but not this early. He had thought he was "past" the safe mark, having made it 5 years post his initial diagnosis. It makes me think about a second melanoma that I had; sixteen years after the first one - not related and in a totally different area. We never know what's up ahead for any of us. It's best to live as if you never know what day will be your last and enjoy it fully. Sort of like having dessert first.

I did meet up with Anda on Monday night and we went out for dessert! Graham's Grille on the Taos Plaza has the BEST key lime pie anywhere I've ever been... However, much to my surprise I ended up ordering the flourless chocolate cake with creme anglais and hazelnuts. It was divine. Anda ordered the cherry/cranberry cobbler which was tart and delicious. She and her friend/traveling companion, Jo, will be returning via Taos this coming weekend so who knows we might get together again. I visited Anda in her hometown of Omaha during last summer's cross country drive. It was wonderful to see a familiar face.

I am busy planning my trip to NE in June and looking for a new place to live. I've decided to stay in Taos another year to work on my writing and want to find a place that is less expensive and smaller. I find that I'm not home that much anyway, I prefer writing in cafes. The ambience is nicer and the prospect of an expresso as a companion is very attractive; I think the caffeine helps the writing process, or that's what I choose to believe.

The Rich and the Famous

Last night I attended a reading by author, Allegra Houston (yes, legendary film director John Houston's daughter)on her new book, "Love Child: a memoir of family lost and found" at the well known Taos venue, Mabel Dodge Luhan House. She and her brother live in Taos. I didn't realize it at first but I was sitting in the same row as her brother, Tony Houston, and right behind her husband, Cisco Guerva(with ties to Che Guerva). Alas Angelica was not there.... It seemed so natural, no paparazzi, no fanfare but alot of warm claps and hugs. Allegra is beautiful, in her early 40's, and chronicled her life with John Houston as her father. Throw in the fact that he wasn't really her bio father - a fact she only became aware of at 12 when she was unceremoniously introduced to John Julius Norwich(a Brit aristocrat who was married at the time that he and her mother had an affair)by Houston's fifth wife, Cici. Her mother, Ricki Soma, had died tragically in a car accident when Allegra was only four. John Houston had graciously taken over her upbringing despite the fact that he had long since split from her mother.

Allegra told some of her story and read a few sections of her book (too few - I was hungry for more). She had a slight british accent (which I swoon over)and was very sweet and charming. She ended her reading by calling up her stepson, Pancho, to sing happy birthday(along with the whole audience)to her husband, Cisco. One of my observations is that she married a man who is similiar in energy and physical appearance to Houston. Cisco is a larger than life character (he walked into the room with a huge felt hat on his head), a gifted storyteller and has a raucous laugh. Sounds a little oedipal to me. Someone told me that they're celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary tonite so it must be working. One of my coworkers told me that she has cared for their son, Rafael. I'm rubbing elbows with the rich and famous.

The Beat Goes On

Well can't compare to last week's blog of a mechanical bull, Nashville and Alabama. this week back to my usual schedule of writing, exercise, classes and working at the gym. Luckily I had scheduled myself a body work session last Monday as I was limping thru the day after the whirlwind of traveling over the weekend. Natalie Goldberg's class continues to amaze. It is different than any other class I have taken.... She does not critique our work; her aim is to build our "writer's spine" by imprinting upon us the importance of daily writing practice; and to allow our "wild mind" to surface - not judging whether what we write is good or bad. She believes that the inner critic is what shuts down writers more often than not and is responsible for many budding writers to quit their craft. I must say that it is a relief to read what I've written and know that I'm not going to get any critical feedback (I get enough of that in other classes); just commentary on the phrases, words, images that people like the most. Natalie studied with a Zen Master for seven years in Minneapolis, MN, and uses meditation on a daily basis to improve her concentration, focus and ability to be fully present to her mind.

On my coffee table I have all things Natalie: here's the list of books of hers I've read so far: "Long, quiet highway", "Banana Rose", "Thunder and Lightening", "Wild Mind" - and two I've just started: "Writing down the Bones" (actually her first book and most well known), and most recent, "Old Friend from Far Away". She said in the last class that by reading we can align ourselves with great writers, maybe some of their talent can rub off on us. I think it's a good sign that we both share some favorite authors - Carson McCullers is one of them.

I wish I had kept a book diary and recorded every book that I've read - with a little synopsis of what I thought about it. I think it would reveal alot about where I was in my life at the time I read it - highlighting issues and dilemnas. But I guess it's never too late to start. As usual I have about five books that I'm in the middle of: "Departures" by Paul Zweig (a memoir), "Our Losing Season" - Pat Conroy, "Writing down the Bones" - Natalie Goldberg and a book of essays by Charles Baxter on developing subplot in stories. Sort of like the way that I am with my knitting projects but the books are more of a constant and not so dependent on the cool weather to inspire me...

I'm off to a rewrite of a piece I did last week - it didn't get rave reviews - I have some serious revisions to do. Later on to Santa Fe to sit in Natalie's class and soak up her words hoping that they will serve as a springboard for my own writing.

Riding the Bull

Well this past week was full of new adventures. First was the beginning of Natalie Goldberg's memoir class on tuesday in Santa Fe. There were 22 people in the class and I'm sure we all hung on her every word. She was much more down to earth than I expected, showed up in class in an old sweater and pair of sweat pants. We started the class with a ten minute meditation with her reminding us that memory comes from stillness, the ability to quiet the mind so that images, thoughts, experiences can come forward. We did two in-class writing assignments - one was entitled, "what I remember" and the other was "what I don't remember". She stressed the importance at looking at opposites so that the hidden shadow side can be prompted to come out. It was obvious that there are many talented writers in the class, a bit intimidating...

And of course the BIG trip on Friday am - from Albuquerque to Dallas and then onto Nashville. A little excitement with messages/texts back and forth about a tornado warning in the area and a stressed phone call from my youngest sister, Gretchen, who arrived early in Nashville and was weathering the sirens, storm warnings, torrential rains by herself on the 19th floor of the Renaissance Hotel in downtown. By the time my middle sister, Marianne, and I got to Nashville all had blown over and we were ready to hit the town. After walking around in circles for a bit we discovered the main drag, Broadway Street, and its assortments of bars, restaurants and honky tonk shops - replete with cowboy hats for $5 and cowboy boots. We vowed to get matching cowboy hats for Easter brunch but somehow we never managed to pull that off. After a quick dinner of nachos and chix fingers, we scouted the bars on both sides of Broadway and began our drinking adventures. Each seemed to have live country music and as the everning wore on, more and more dancing. I spurlged and had several drinks, even half of one shot of tequila. This earned me the disdain of my sisters - though - because they told me that sipping shots was definitely a "no-no". Gretchen proved to be the wildest of the three and at the end of the night with a sufficient amount of alcohol consumed we found the bar that advertised the "meanest mechanical bull" in town and she rode it! Actually she did quite well and managed to stay on for quite a while - longer than some of the men we watched.
This was on her "bucket list" - along with completing a half marathon of 13 miles in March.

The wedding was anticlimactic after that night. My nephew, Michael, and his new bridge, Candance seemed very happy and on Monday they flew off to their honeymoon in the Bahamas. As the wedding offered no alcoholic libations there were many creative disguises used by family members to "smuggle" some in to the reception. Nips, flasks and water bottles were the weapons of choice. All went well and there were no conflicts, debaucles or disgraces...

Flew back on sunday afternoon and spent most of yesterday recovering - went to the gym but only had the energy to use the steam room and hot tub...

Shamanic Journeying

My new experience from last week involves Shamanic Journeying. The same person who did the sweat lodge (Apache traditional) also offers vision quests and drumming circles. I am often lured to try anything (within limits - bungee jumping and sky diving are definitely out)once and when my friend, Jan (my Tarot teacher) mentioned it I knew that I'd have to give it a go. Jim started the evening by giving an intro to the effects of drumming, its particular rhythyms, what they individually mean and how they induce altered states. He talked with me individually for awhile as he knew that I was a "virgin" and suggested that during this first journeying experience I hold the intention of meeting my power animal. In native american spirituality there is a belief that we have power animals and spirit animals that offer us protection, support, and guidance to hear spirit's messages. The drumming assists our unconscious in "traveling" to an altered state, similar to meditation, to have waking visions (dreams). Holding this intention proved helpful. The first thing I "saw" in my mind's eye was a bear. I asked whether he/she was my power anmimal and I heard "no, but I can take you to him." A long sequence ensued traveling across different types of landscape; the bear's fur changed from black to white (polar bear) when we got into the colder regions. We arrived at a cave and then I saw a snake and remembered thinking - oh, no, I hope that's not my power animal as I hate/fear snakes. Then I heard the roar of a lion and I knew instinctively that this was my power animal and had confirmation in the vision that this was the case. Towards the end I saw an eagle and had an experience of being lifted by the eagle to have a wider view of the earth and life. Jim told me the meaning of each animal - bear for healing; snake for transformation/awakened sexuality, lion for courgage and strength and lastly eagle for vision. He commented that I had quite a vision for my first journeying experience!

Writing practice this week has focused on my memories of a solo bus trip I took at age eight to Tonawanda, NY, to visit my Aunt and Uncle. I'm finding that memoir (at least for me)begins with a vague memory of an event that I then use creative license to turn into a story. Many of the details are not factual but the framework, time period and general emotional feel of the story are accurate. It's fun to combine truth with imagination and transform it with words into a story. I saw a biographical program on TV the other night on Annie Proulx (author of Brokeback Mountain, the Shipping News, etc)and she chronicled the process of writing her most recent novel, "That Old Ace in the Hole" over a period of two and half years.... At the end of it she said she thought it might be her last novel because the process took her so long - she much preferred writing short stories because she could crank one out within a month. I feel like the chapters in my memoir are each like mini short stories, fashioned that way because I read three pages/week in my writing groups. Because I'm reading out loud I often create a beginning, middle and end of each vignette. I've had the idea that maybe some of them could be published as "stand alone" pieces in literary magazines. Speaking of which I am working on editing twenty pages of prose to submit to "Discovery Awards" in New Mexico - specifically designed for unpublished authors. I'm also going to submit the same sample for a scholarship to the Taos Writer's Conference which will be happening July 12 - 19th this summer. Wish me luck!

Winter is here again

Last week was unusual weather for Taos. Cold, snowy and cloudy. We haven't had the combo since Xmas... My daughter Jenn was visiting from Colorado to take her Level II ski instructor's certification exam at Taos Ski Valley. The conditions were blustery and icey. Her exam was all day Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and she passed! There were 30 people signed up for the exam and only 4 people passed all three days. For part of the celebration we went out to dinner at Graham's Grille (the home of the best key lime pie anywhere)and spent an afternoon at Ojo Caliente Hot Springs on Saturday.

Today it was 28 degrees when I left the house for my writing day, a bit of New England in the air. Beginning the first week of April I have signed up for an 8 week class by Natalie Goldberg on "Writing Memoir" in Santa Fe. That will mean late nights on Tuesday - the class is from 5:30 - 7:30 so I probably won't be home until at least 9 pm as it's an hour and half drive each way. Natalie has written at least 10 books (most famous for "Writing down the Bones")and I am eager to meet her and be one of her students.... I found out a few weeks ago that I didn't win a scholarship to the Women's Writing Conference at Ghost Ranch in August but am applying for one to the Taos Summer Writer's conference, which I need to work on soon because the deadline is April 15th.

Here's a bit of bright news. This is the first year in a long time that I will be getting a tax refund (a whopping $54.00!) due to the shortfall on my stocks/bonds. So yeah I don't have to pay the government any more money. Of course that does't quite make up for the amount I lost in the stock market before I took my money out in October but we won't go there. It also means I qualify for a reduction in my New Mexico health insurance because I earned below the median salary. So that's a blessing, too.

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

I had a first this week. I was invited to participate in an authentic Apache Two Spirit Sweat Lodge on Thursday night, on the Spring (vernal)Equinox. I am claustrophic and sensitive to the heat so I knew this was going to be a real challenge.... The Lodge is located in Arroyo Hondo about eight miles from Taos in the Hondo River Valley. Jim, the Lodge Master, lives on 5 acres of beautfil sagebrush-filled land with beautiful mountain views. He has a Tepee, fire pit and traditional lodge. The lodge is made from birch saplings stretched and bound together with twine and then covered with canvas to create a small dome that you have to crawl into on your hands and feet and then sit on the ground around an indoor fire pit. Mercifully there were small rugs covering the dirt so we (there was 13 of us)could sit on them instead of dirt - although, truthfully as it started getting hotter and hotter I would have enjoy sitting directly on the cooler dirt and not care how dirty I got. As it was I got plenty dirty enough...

The ceremony consists of "four rounds", for the four directions (East, South, West and finally North). The stone bearer brings in 6-8 basalt (volcanic) rocks that have been heated in the outdoor fire pit all afternoon and carries them by pitchfork, one by one into the lodge. After everyone has situated themselves in the lodge the flap is closed and you are in complete darkness. The lodge master then ladles water onto the hot rocks, creating steam, after each person says a prayer for the direction of that particular round. Each round brings 6-8 more rocks, more water, intenser heat, etc. We were each given sprigs of sage to inhale to help us endure the heat and were thankifully given permission to lie down on the ground (not enough space to fully lie down - but in a modified fetal position - symbolic, I suppose)when we got too hot. I discovered a "trick" after getting through the first round, when I scrunched myself up on the dirt my hand immediately sought out the underneath of the back of the canvas - and then my hand found a hole and was released into the freedom and coolness of the outside air. This of course is not encouraged and in some lodges strictly forbidden. And I was determined to make it all the way through the four rounds and this was my survival technique. I must admit that as the rounds went on my silent prayer was that everybody's prayers were short. Laying down I can't honestly say I heard their prayers. I did however discover that when my hand found the space between the dirt and the canvas on the back wall I could lift it an inch and get a cool puff of air.

He allowed everyone the opportunity to take a "break" between the second and third rounds. Everyone except him left the lodge and went outside for 15-20 mins to cool down. This made it so much easier to endure the last two rounds. The ceremony started at sundown and I didn't get home until after midnight. After the ceremony was over we had a "feast" - a potluck that everyone contributed to - which is also part of the tradition. I don't know yet whether this was a first last or whether I will be called to do it again. We'll see. Maybe at the summer solstice.

He does hold other native american ceremonies - one of which is shamanic journeying which I do plan to try. "While in Rome, do as the Romans...." What better place than in the Southwest to try Native ceremonies. Speaking of which a long time friend is visiting soon so I plan to take that opportunity to visit the Taos Pueble and Chimayo (a Southwest "Lourdes" - known for its healing miracle waters and sacred ground).

Astrology 101

This week my new adventure was a 3 hour class in "How to read your own Astrology Chart" by astrologer, Julie Kelly. She had taken our birth info weeks before and created a "natal" chart for us. Wow! Talk about learning a different language. South nodes, north nodes, ascendent signs, planets, houses, moon, sun, etc. etc. It was a crash course. Fascinating stuff - although my zodiac sign is Gemini I learned other celestial influences that have created an influence on my personality, health and relationships. I certainly didn't absorb it all but have ordered a primer on it to help me decode some of the information. In my tarot class this week I discovered that my "life card" or soul's mission this incarnation is the "Hierophant" - a medieval term for teacher. My lessons have to do with being a student, a lover of knowledge and sharing this learning with others. Seems to fit and may explain why I love taking classes and learning new information all the time.

I wrote a short story this week about "Gym class" that high school nemesis - at least for me. Humorous and poignant at the same time. My teacher pronounced it almost flawless. I'll take it. I'm anxious to start an 8 week memoir class by Natalie Goldbery ("Writing down the bones"fame)the first week in April. She lives in Santa Fe but spent alot of time living in Taos when she was younger. She even wrote about it in her novel, "Banana Rose".

Blast from the Past - this coming week Holly Near comes to Taos and is performing at the Community Auditorium on Saturday night. I have listened to alot of her music over the years but have never had the privilege of hearing her live. She's a folksigner, political activist and bisexual. A pretty juicy combination....

Working Girl

The owner of Northside Health & Fitness Center where I work called in sick this week; the manager is out of town due to a family illness. The upshot was that they requested I help fill in with shifts. So I ended up working six days this week - a total of 37 hours... By the sixth day I was exhausted. I was grumpy. I was tired. And I didn't want to see the gym again - even to work out. So my sympathy goes out to all you who regularly work 40 plus hours/week. Yes, I definitely have become spoiled and am used to my free time and mostly stress-free life. Of course I do have stress - but it is self-generated by my own worries and occasional obsessive thinking. I didn't have much time to write, actually, none. Luckily I had written something earlier that I could bring to class on Thursday am.

And so I am grateful for my ability to work only parttime and have the luxury of the extra hours to pursue artistic endeavors. Of course there are tradeoffs. I haven't bought any new clothes for months, I don't own my own house and I rarely go out to eat. And a big chunk of my salary goes towards health insurance. And I wouldn't trade it for the world. I would rather have less material things and more freedom. Time is money, as they say. And if I look at it in that regard I am well paid indeed.

And I am discovering some new ways to generate income - one of which is doing Tarot readings. I did my first this week and charged for it. I am also charging for Reiki treatments and am currently knitting an adult size fisherman knit sweater. There's a Memorial Day craft fair at Kit Carson Park that I plan to sign up for to sell my knitted creations.

This next week only one extra shift scheduled.... Now to more writing.

Writing for Contests

It's my teacher's fault. She told me that one of my recent writing pieces for class was good enough to be entered in a contest. So then of course I had to find some. There's three so far. The Discovery awards given to NM, CO or TX residents who have never been published; "The Room of Her Own foundation" week long writer's retreat at Ghost Ranch, Abiqui, NM and the Taos Summer writer's cfc in none other than Taos, NM. Flurries of email back and forth to my writing teacher for assistance with editing, proofing and format. I never did buy a copy of APA guide in college.... Punctuation, grammar and syntax has never been my forte.

So we'll see how it goes. The first one was sent off tonight. A $35 entry fee. Apparently you have to pay money to have the privege of being chosen to win money. The piece is about fond memories of my 4-H sewing teacher, Mrs. Larsen. I've titled it, "Tuesday Afternoons". The next one is not due until April 15th and the third, May 1st so I'll have time to obsess adequately before submitting them.

Last week a friend invited me to go with her to Ojo Caliente Mineral Springs. What a treat. Seven different natural mineral pools built into the sides of a cliff: sulphur, iron, arsenic, sodium and lithium Your skin feels as smooth as a baby's .... when you're done. Of course they have spa services, too, but that requires a more luxurious budget. I went on a Tuesday which is 2 for 1 day for NM residents. Not good for much of anything productive after I got back. But sleeping that night was great.

I've now made to high school in my memoir writing and have discovered why I don't ever want to go to any high school reunions (haven't either). Life definitely is better after high school.

Sign of the Times

Well I suppose it had to hit Taos sooner or later. Many of the locals have commented over the last 6 months of economic crises that Taos was pretty well insulated since alot of folks who live here either a)have lots of money - like the movie star, Julia Roberts, who lives in Des Montes, 7 miles from Taos, or b)are dirt poor or c)live very low cost lifestyles - part time jobs, renting rooms, eating beans and rice, etc. So a little less money wouldn't seem to affect most of the population. At first this confidence seemed true -especially with the early snowfall in December, making the Ski Valley open by Thanksgiving - that and the addition of now allowing snowboarding augured for a brisk skiing business. I'm not a skiier but I have eavesdropped on conversations at the gym and the tourist trade has seemed to hold its' own this winter. Yet within the last month two cafe's have closed down, without warning, and last week one of the biggest employers in the area, Questa Mines, had a massive layoff. I was particulary bothered by the closing down of the Northside Mondo Kultur cafe as it rents DVD's and has espresso (we know how I feel about my espresso) - and it's only 2 miles from my house - within walking distance.

Although not as palpable as I imagine it is on the Coasts people have started talking about their fears/worries about their finances and future, especially their retirement funds or lack thereof. One of the ways I insulate myself from buying into these fears is to watch very little (maybe one show/week and one movie)TV, skip over headlines of doom and disaster in newspapers/magazines and work on focusing on the positives - affirming my belief in the abundance of the universe and dredge up that old bugaboo, "TRUST". Of course I'm not about to spend all my savings next week and I do trust that other doors will open when certain doors appear to be locked and fortified.

I am slowly becoming more comfortable with the impermanence of my current lifestyle and although I have some loose plans for the future they are not well defined. It seems that being able to live month to month may well be an asset in these uncertain times. At least for the moment.

I sense that living in Taos is time limited but when the end is I don't know at present. I don't feel done yet - there's still alot of writing to do - the stimulation here is inspiring and productive. Two new classes have captured my attention: one is on reading your own astrological chart and the other is an improv class that meets for 2 1/2 hrs a week on a drop in basis. The astrological class is a one time deal and meets on 3/11th - I'm fascinated by what new information I may learn about the planets and my alignment with them. Now that we're in the Age of Aquarius!

Singles Awareness Day

My daughter, Jenn, told me that in her opinion, Valentines' Day is "Singles Awareness Day". I'm sure spoken because she's not currently in a relationship. Some bitterness about that perhaps. It's amazing that when you're younger (relatively speaking) - like in your teens, 20's or 30's being in a relationship seems to be "the be all and end all" of the meaning of your life. I like the definition of the word "virgin" from my tarot class - a woman complete unto herself. Someone who doesn't define herself by who's she in relationship with. This feels like it's a good description of the place/space I'm holding at the moment. Although the desire for a romantic relationship appears from time to time mostly it's in the background as I'm busy on developing parts of myself during this "alone" time. I certainly miss some of the aspects of being in a committed relationship - the companionship, communication, and shared experiences; however, I have to admit that I've done my greatest personal and spiritual growth when I am single. Now to combine the two. If that's possible, I don't know.

Three people emailed me and one person called me to let me know that Saturday, Valentines' Day, was the literal dawning of the Age of Aquarius (think of the popular song, from the musical "Hair"). At 7:25 am the Age was being ushered in and the planets were in alignment (as predicted by the song) - the Age of Aquarius is the age of love and peace. Apropos Valentines' Day. I also picked the "lovers" card in my daily tarot practice. Hopefully this will all be in alignment with Obama being the new president.

My writing practice continues; lately I've been working on some memoir pieces. Interesting to look back on some childhood experiences with the more detached view from fifty years in the future.... Much more neutral, lots of lessons and opportunities to deduce meaning from what occurred - so much more helpful than trying to figure out why they occurred or whose fault it was anyway....

In Search of Excellence

This was the week I heard the word. Excellent. She repeated it twice and added, with a few minor changes, you could submit it for a contest. You have a real talent for writing in that voice.... I couldn't believe she said that. To me. I had written a story about a sewing teacher, Mrs. Larsen - my fond memories of going to her house every Tuesday afternoon for several years - which then led to being a camp counselor at Camp Middlesex (a 4-H camp)in Western Mass. for several summers. Phaedra's (my writing teacher)words fired my motivation to continue working on my "craft" (as they say in the inner circle of writers)- especially since I've been feeling a bit discouraged lately with the love's laborious task of writing....

So onward and upward; I'm not feeling inspired to submit it to a contest but who knows maybe sometime in the future.... What I do know and sense is that my hard work over the past months has started to pay off - becoming familiar with "point of view, character development, narrative, fictional devices, voice, etc." I love to learn; I am a perpetual student - better yet when you reach that point actually having accomplished a milestone in your subject. So I'm no pulitzer prize winner (yet) but her words were enough to keep me moving forward.

My cold is officially over - it always seems that no matter how much rest, vitamin C, echinacea and chicken soup you consume it still seems to take a couple of weeks for its effects to lessen. So back to my workout schedule at the gym. I have finished my pilates class and have a new appreciation for my abdominal muscles (or lack thereof). I watched in amazement as the instructor and several students did moves I can only dream of accomplishing someday. I only have 2 more sessions with my trainer and will use them to become even more acquainted with the intimidating equipment in the weight room. She now has me doing free weights - another whole process - in itself....

A Writer's Life

Friday night I attended an event hosted by S.O.M.O.S (Society of the Muse of the southwest - an organization devoted to writers) at Cafe Tazza (yes they do serve espresso drinks). It was a quintessential Taos experience. The adobe walls, painted in vibrant colors, the ristras (wreath of dried chilis) hanging from the ceiling and the packed antechamber livingroom of writers, poets, and wannabe's was intoxicating. I felt like a real writer. This combined with receiving accolades on a written piece during my thursday morning writing group has made this a banner week - despite having a chest cold, not sleeping well and not able to work out at the gym.... I coupled my experience with finishing Natalie Goldburg's novel, "Banana Rose" set in Taos, NM - it was fun to recognize alot of the landmarks she mentioned - altho - alas there is no more Rexall Drug's that has a soda fountain and serves malteds. Goldburg moved to Santa Fe sometime ago and is still an active writer and teacher. On my wish list is the desire to attend one of her writing workshops (she wrote, "Writing down the Bones" among other books.

The night's readers included Dave Perez, a local well known writer, who read from his memoir in progress, "Wow" about growing up puertorican in NYC in the 1960's and his antics at a catholic private school, St. Luke's, and his comedy routine as an unruly altar boy. We then heard from a classically trained flamingo guitarist and the ending of the evening was two readings from NY Times bestseller author, Lisa Valdez Rodriguez from Albuquerque who read from a young adult novel, "The Haters" and her current book to be published in July '09, "The Husband Habit". Perez and Rodriguez were both hilarious, colorful, and riveting. It gave me some idea of what publishers are looking for in fiction/non fiction material. Especially with Rodriguez who has already published 6 books.

Although I attended the event solo it was obvious that many of the folks there know each other and there appears to be a definite "inner circle of writers" in Taos that I can only dream to be a part of. I've discovered that like any field of training there is a writer's jargon, "prompts, scenes, pacing, character development, plot development, point of view - first person, third person, narrative, etc." At least I now know what most of the words mean....

Firming and toning has come to a stand still this week as I focus on recovering from a chest cold. I haven't been to the gym since last Monday but am hopeful that this week will be more conducive.

The Tarot class continues on Saturday mornings. We covered 3 more major arcana cards and got assigned yet more homework, 2 videos and meditation time. I'm anxious to actually do the readings and yet know that the background historical info is critical to meaningful interpretations.

Firming and Toning

Another week of 5x at the gym; Tina was right things are getting easier. Except that's it's a double edged sword because the better I do the more she adds to my workout routine.... The lunges are now accompanied by 10# weights and I'm nowing doing "ball wall squats" with a large exercise ball pressed up against the wall. Boy I really know where my quad muscles are located. This coming week I start a pilates class on Monday and Wednesday with another trainer at the gym, Rosa. It will be Mondays 3 - 4:30 and Weds 12 - 1:00 - all intended to build core muscles in the abdomen. You mean I really have an abdomen underneath the rolls?

The diet is progressing; I don't notice any cravings for sugary foods but do still hunger for salt and crunchy food, ie: popcorn and chips. Being a popcorn fanatic, movies aren't worth it without a bowl of the salt and fat, it's hard to limit myself to only 2 cups of the lowfat microwave stuff. It's almost easier to have none at all. It's also a challenge to eat so many times a day - I feel like I'm constantly eating, preparing or storing food and yet I do know that it's much healthier and easier on the digestive system to have frequent small meals rather than 3 large ones - especially as the day goes on.

With all this work I have noticed that I've already gone down almost one whole size as I had to return something to TJ Maxx on Thursday during a trip to Santa Fe. I tried on some summer shorts/skirts and they fit in the smaller size! My weight hasn't changed even one ounce but Tina assures me that muscle weighs more than fat - a fact I'm well aware of from my days as a Curves owner - so it's not discouraging. It's more important to me how my clothes fit and how I generally feel.

The liquid herbal supplements are becoming easier to get down; the gag reflex has relaxed somewhat - not that I'm ready to take on anything else.

The tarot class progresses; each week we explore the history and symbolism of 4 new cards - this week it was the Emperor, The Hierophant, The Lovers and the The High Priestess. The instructor assigns movies, books and meditation for homework each week - surely enough to keep us busy. It's amazing to me to get a glimpse of the historical symbolism in the cards - much like art history and to learn about cultural beliefs stemming from B.C. up through the Medieval Ages. It puts modern Christianity and Judaism in a different perspective when you know more of the history of the "original movers and shakers". The Cathars, The Knights Templar, the Crusdades, The Gnostic Bible, Hermetism, Greek Mythology - to name but a few.

First week

So I did make it to the gym five times last week; a combo of cardio, strength training with the weight machines and free weights and swimming. Tina, my personal trainer, led me thru 2 sessions of upper and body strength training - the day after I could really tell - my muscles were really sore.... Let's just say stairs and changing levels of any kind were a challenge. She assures me that that will only be temporary and that my muscles will adjust - at least until she adds up the reps to 3 sets of 12's rather than 2 sets....

I've can't remember ever being so preoccupied with my body as I have over the last week - between eating 5 - 6 small meals/day, drinking at least 8 glasses of water, taking tinctures to support my liver, pancreas, thyroid, etc., fiber tablets 6x/day, detox with foot patches and herbs - it feels like a full time job. Hopefully my body is eliminating toxins and building my immune system. Oh by the way at the "heart party" last Monday I tested out at a chronological age of 35 which I thought was pretty good considering I'm 56! I did start on the L Arginine though to assist with lower my cholesterol and they retest for free in a month to check on progress.

I have still managed to get some writing done and my two classes have started up again to give me focus. Nothing like having a deadline looming to get you motivated.
I'm still trying to safeguard Mon, Tues and Weds as writing days, so far so good.

I also started a new class on Saturday morning on the history and uses of the Tarot taught by Taroist, Jan Walker, with over 30 years of experience and research in the Tarot. It's definitely a college level class because I walk away after two hours with over 6 pages of notes.... Learning about the archetypes and their history is fascinating; each week she assigns homework as well so this should be really helpful for my intuitive readings.

So only one more week of a cleanse, thank goodness. After that my naturopath recommends that you really only need it once or twice a year. Barbara Tracy, the naturopath, explained a very plausible reason for my recent pancreatitis. She said that because I've had my gallbladder removed my liver and pancreas have been working overtime to digest what I eat and she says it was probably only a matter of time before either my liver or pancreas became annoyed at the overwork. So she's prescribed some digestive enzymes to aid with the process - probably something I'll have to be aware of for the future. I am really pleased that she is the first doctor that has come up with a reasonable explanation because the hospital docs weren't able to....

Starting with a Cleanse

My friend, Andy Mason, from Pittsfield, Kansas lost well over a 100 #'s last year using the Isagenic program, daily exercising and emotional release work.... He inspired me by writing a weekly blog, "Unzipping Your Fat Suit" about his efforts and successes. I have decided to follow his example and keep a written public record of experiences along the same vein.

As is true for alot of us I have started the new year affirming my desire to release more weight, improve my health, lower my cholesterol & blood sugar and get fit. So to assist and support me I have taken advantage of a special offer by one of the personal trainers at the gym where I work and have contracted for 8 sessions with her to get me started on my workout routine. Additionally she is a distributor for Synergy, Intl., (Ron Williams, award winning weight lifter and nutritionist)and I have decided to try one of their products, Argi-9, which is a natural derivative of arginine - an all natural supplement which helps lower cholesterol. Tomorrow there is a "Healthy Heart" party at the gym where for $30 they test your heart functioning and determine the developmental age of your heart. I hope it's at least within the decade of my chronological age or younger....

And yesterday at Cid's, the natural health food store in town, I bought an organic total body cleanse (sans the flu), detox patches for my feet (several people I know swear by them)and stocked up on brown rice, veggies, flax seed, ezekial bread, and organic fruit. I traded a session with a medical intuitive early in the week and basically, without getting too personal, she told me that a cleanse and healing diet would definitely be in my best interest. I naively thought that not eating much for 3 weeks and having the typical symptoms of the flu would have definitely cleansed me.... She educated me about the fact that that was only a "superficial" cleanse and did not get at the deeper level of toxins and the crud that builds up in all our intestines over the years - especially if we have ingested more than our fair share or refined carbohydrates. Who me?

Of course they all tell me to stop drinking coffee; start drinking green tea instead - and eat complex carbs (think whole grain), organic fruits and vegetables and essential fatty acids as well as filtered clean water. I plan to ease myself into this; doing it all at once would be a sure fire way to give up within 3 days. So I plan to approach the changes in a series of steps:
Step 1: workout at the gym 5x/week; alternating upper and lower body resistance training and incorporating cardio exercise via the treadmill/elliptical
Step 2: Eliminating refined carbs from my diet
Step 3: By then I should be prepared to do the total body cleanse

So now that means I'm off to the gym for my 30 min session of cardio....

A Taoseno New Year

The day before New Year's Eve I treated myself to a much needed massage after my three week experience with the stomach flu/pancreatitis. Christina inquired about my NY's eve plans; in my trance I mentioned that I didn't have any yet and automatically/politely asked her about hers. She shared that she was going to a Dance celebration at the Taos Dance Academy which would include a free-form 5rhythyms dance (ala Gabrielle Roth), meditation, intentions, a manifestation ritual and a gong recital. Count me in. She said that it was from 7 pm - midnight and that the doors would close at 7:15pm so as to build the energy in the group and maintain the cohesion of people attending. So, not having been out and about for several weeks, I decided that this would be my debut back into the world and an inspiring way to usher in 2009.

Visuddha is the dance instructor and her website is: www.movedandbemoved.com - she leads weekly women's and mixed dance groups using the 5 rhythyms method. Almost 40 people participated; we started the evening by being smudged with wet sage, removed our shoes, took in our mats and journals and started in circle, holding hands and affirming our intentions for 2009. We ceremonially released anything from 2008 which no longer served us and welcomed our heart's desires for the new year. Excellent health is certainly on the top of my list; dear to my heart following the recent three week ordeal.

At the end of the evening, after sweating, praying, meditating and drawing we curled up on our mats and sleeping bags and listen to Visuddha beat the gongs in different patterns and hear her friend Elizabeth chant in acapella in accompaniement. A magical evening; I had no trouble falling asleep after arriving back at my earthship at 12:15.